Donald Trump’s been massaging Kim Jong Un’s plump backside with puzzling flattery and a ‘smart cookie’ compliment.
2 Extra Large size egos
Nut of your choice
Everything else is negotiable
Since Donald Trump’s been massaging Kim Jong Un’s plump backside with puzzling flattery and a ‘smart cookie’ compliment — I’ve been searching thru his old family recipes for clues into the origin of these delights.
But, Trump has to keep track of who he’s given these smart cookie compliments to — everybody knows nobody believes you if you say it about all despots.
Like he’s already used up ‘great guy’, ‘terrific guy’ and just called Paul Ryan ‘a genius’ in the Rose Garden!
That ought to tell us something about his dwindling cornucopia of adjectives or that we now know he likes anal! (And no, I do not want to share a cell with Stephen Colbert) ha ha.
At some point — Jared Kushner has to run out for a Thesaurus and hope Trump doesn’t believe he alone discovered a rare prehistoric creature — like his brilliant Civil War theory.
Yes, these cookies have unusually few ingredients, but do have some presentation tips:
1) Milk it until you can’t!
2) Grease palms shaking every frigin’ hand in the room!
3) Butter-up strokee & never re-gift!
4) Let cool before offering new praise!
Red Flag: Strokee may not buy the flattery if he also heard the stroker lies like a rug — and sold the rug for $1,000 & said it was $10,000!
No surprise here, but these cookies come with promises — zero calories, zero gluten and zero missiles strikes while ingesting!
But alas, each compliment has an Expiration Date — 4 year term or (in smaller print) at Trump’s discretion!
But who looks at the small print — we already know Trump can turn on a dime & can execute the old con in his sleep… “You got 2 dimes for a nickel?”
In case you’re wondering — in the coming trips abroad, ‘smart cookie’ can easily be retooled & translated into Hebrew, Arabic & Italian — even Canadian, if it comes to that!
Make no mistake, Trump has a whole bag of tricks just waiting for his next national or international deal.
Despot or Voter — he loves nothing more than turning heads with sweet nothings… whether it’s a 7 layer cake that’s only 6, orchard fresh apple pie from the Can or a batch of hot steaming pile of shi… shiny cookies!
Latest posts by Marilyn Sands (see all)
- Pro-Trump Pigeons Hit Statues Hard - August 20, 2017
- Comedy from the Borscht Belt! - August 8, 2017
- Glammed-Up Huckabee Sanders Goes Bonkers, ‘Network’ Style! - August 5, 2017
Like the above content? Leave a comment below! Get notified of new content on HumorTimes.com: Subscribe via email!