Yes, it’s Trump’s Porn Star Trial, where femme fatale Stormy Daniels gets the last laugh & last Tango on ‘Dancing with the Stars!’
Yes, there is a Mr. David Pecker of the National Enquirer at a porn star trial, as a cooperating witness. Along with the wackiest group of New York Jurors, including those originally from Beaver Crossing, S.D., Sugar Tit, S.C., Blue Ball, AR, Cummings, TX, Bangor, WA, Concepcion, W.VA, Nutbush, TN, Intercourse, PA., Climax, MI, Three Way, AZ, Cockeysville, MD and Pahrump, Nevada!
Of all of Trump’s scheduled trials (hopefully before the 2024 Election) this one, ‘The Hush Money Criminal Trial’ seems to make him the most nervous. But ‘nervous’ doesn’t mean he’ll stop fighting or talking!
I think it will go something like this:
TRUMP’S DEFENSE LAWYER
Miss Daniels, tell the jury what’s your line of work.
STORMY DANIELS
I’m retired.
DEFENSE LAWYER
Why?
STORMY
Allergic to mushrooms.
DEFENSE LAWYER
I get the reference, but tell the jury what you mean.
STORMY
When I see a mushroom, I put my clothes back on.
DEFENSE LAWYER
When did you last see a mushroom?
STORMY (softly)
In Mr. Trump’s Tighty Whities.
DEFENSE LAWYER
Speak up, the jury can’t hear you.
STORMY
He’s looking at me!
DEFENSE LAWYER
You mean the Defendant?
STORMY
Yes, Minuteman.
DONALD TRUMP
I object! C’mon – I had some bad shrimp!
DEFENSE LAWYER
Judge, strike that from the record. Donald, remember don’t talk!
DONALD TRUMP
Well, big boobs scare me!
STORMY
HaHa
DEFENSE LAWYER
What were you doing in Mr. Trump’s hotel room?
STORMY
Tabulating the Thread Count.
THE JURY LAUGHS, THE JUDGE POUNDS HIS GAVEL.
DEFENSE LAWYER
Was there any money changing hands in that room?
STORMY
No, it was much later when Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen sent me a check to keep quiet.
DEFENSE LAWYER
How much was the check for?
STORMY
$130,000.01
DEFENSE LAWYER
That’s an odd amount, isn’t it?
STORMY
I guess it’s for when I saw the mushroom & screamed.
DEFENSE LAWYER
I guess you were expecting the money in the hotel room on the dresser.
STORMY
No, I wasn’t! I’m a Dancer/Actress/40+ Model.
DEFENSE LAWYER
Because you’re over 40?
STORMY
No, because my eyes are up here!
DEFENSE LAWYER
Could we take a 5 minute break, my glasses are fogging up!
JUDGE JUAN M. MERCHAN
Sit down Donald – you’re up next & you’ll have your hand on the Bible!
DONALD
You mean I have to tell the truth or go to prison?
JUDGE
You’ll be fine – just like the showers at the golf club…there’s always someone to wash your back!
- Take this Mandatory Test to See If You’re Qualified to Vote - April 16, 2024
- You Can’t Make This Stuff Up: A Mr. Pecker at a Porn Star Trial! - April 14, 2024
- How to Tell if Someone’s in a Cult: Top 10 - April 2, 2024
