Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
President Biden offers “President for a Day” prize for one million dollar donations.
If you have ever wanted to be president for a day, here’s your chance. According to SNN Politics and Moolah reporter Quick Buck Kate, President Biden stated that, “If you donate a million dollars to my re-election campaign, I’ll let you be prez for 24 hours.”
Mr. Biden added, “Just look at all the good things you can do as president for just one day.” He then listed them:
- Declare war on Texas or the Republicans
- Pardon all your children who are in prison
- Take the whole damn Secret Service to a strip club
- Arrest the Washington Nationals for impersonating a baseball team
- Have a date night with Doctor Jill
- Have a date night with Kamala Harris
- Nuke the Fox News Channel
- Bet the whole US Treasury on the Kansas City Royals
- Buzz Trump Tower in Air Force One
- Erase all your student loan debt, credit card debt, bookie tab, etc.
Mr. Biden also stated that for a donation of $13.50 you can be VP for a day.
Breaking News
Trump Indicted for Paying Hush Money to Jill Biden
SNN Words to Live By
“Watu chitu pacey pacey.” — Saidi (Nathan Curry), Tarzan and His Mate, 1934 film.
“Let the sound take you away.” — Steppenwolf, Magic Carpet Ride, 1968 song.
“You are what you is.” — Frank Zappa.
Question of the Week
Beatles or Stones?? (Authors pick: Stones. Post your answer in the comments below.)
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