The Very First Academy Awards Show: Pages the Bible Missed!

First Academy AwardsFirst Academy Awards

The First Academy Awards started the soon-to-be dying art of accepting a shiny Graven Image among your jealous peers!

First Academy Awards Presenter: EVE
Voters: ADAM & EVE

1.   BEST COSTUME DESIGN – Adam

2.   BEST COSTUME DESIGN TWEAKER – Eve

3.   BEST SOUND EFFECTS – Adam (& no Dog to blame)

4.   BEST ADAPTED STORY – Adam & Eve & Steve

5.   BEST DISTANCE URINATOR – Adam

6.   BEST ENTANGLEMENT – The Snake & Adam

7.   BEST HUNTER & GATHERER – Adam (except when he forgot the Milk)

8.   BEST MAKE-OUT LOCATION – Bushes

9.   BEST APPLE PEELER – Adam (and, in one peel)

10. BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS  – Moon & Stars

11.  BEST MAKE-UP & HAIRSTYLING – Sun & Wind!

12.  BEST LOVER – It’s a tie!  Adam with a mustache & Adam without!

13.  BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY – Ask G-d!

14.  LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD – To be Continued!

And the 1st Slap heard ’round the world was Adam spanking Eve’s butt accepting his trophies & immediately banned from attending for 10 years!

And, Biblical years can be rough!

Share
Share