The First Academy Awards started the soon-to-be dying art of accepting a shiny Graven Image among your jealous peers!
First Academy Awards Presenter: EVE
Voters: ADAM & EVE
1. BEST COSTUME DESIGN – Adam
2. BEST COSTUME DESIGN TWEAKER – Eve
3. BEST SOUND EFFECTS – Adam (& no Dog to blame)
4. BEST ADAPTED STORY – Adam & Eve & Steve
5. BEST DISTANCE URINATOR – Adam
6. BEST ENTANGLEMENT – The Snake & Adam
7. BEST HUNTER & GATHERER – Adam (except when he forgot the Milk)
8. BEST MAKE-OUT LOCATION – Bushes
9. BEST APPLE PEELER – Adam (and, in one peel)
10. BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS – Moon & Stars
11. BEST MAKE-UP & HAIRSTYLING – Sun & Wind!
12. BEST LOVER – It’s a tie! Adam with a mustache & Adam without!
13. BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY – Ask G-d!
14. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD – To be Continued!
And the 1st Slap heard ’round the world was Adam spanking Eve’s butt accepting his trophies & immediately banned from attending for 10 years!
And, Biblical years can be rough!
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