The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Trump in Twilight Zone 2

Rod Serling does the prologue and epilogue for this very special edition of The Jerry Duncan Show: Twilight Zone 2.

Rod SerlingANNOUNCER ROD SERLING

Former twice impeached President Donald Trump will soon find out that his life doesn’t exist anymore at Mar-a-Lago. Rather a middle ground between light and shadow. Between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and summit of his knowledge. This is an area we call, The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is former disgraced, twice impeached President Donald Trump.

JERRY

Good morning, big fella. What’s new at Mar-a-Lago?

DONALD TRUMP

The FBI illegally raided my house. All they found were 55 empty buckets of KFC and 350 Big Mac wrappers.

JERRY

Are you sure you’re not hiding something else?

TRUMP

Okay, I confess. 25 pairs of my underwear with skid marks. And Lindsey Graham’s inaugural gown.

JERRY

You’re still spreading baseless claims that the 2020 election was rigged. Do you really believe you are still the President?

TRUMP

Of course, I am. Dead people voted for Joe Biden. I had 200 million votes.

JERRY

But there are only 133 million registered voters.

TRUMP

Fake news. You forgot to add Russians. It’s all on Fox News.

JERRY

There are 15 tax fraud schemes against the Trump Organization during the past 16 years. Your CFO Allen Weisselberg plead guilty to charges of larceny, criminal tax fraud, and falsifying business records.

TRUMP

Who is Allen Weisselberg? Never heard of him. I got more important things to worry about. The DOJ is going to indict me. I’m trying to deport Melania and her parents back to Slovenia. Ivana isn’t hot anymore.

JERRY

Ivana is dead.

TRUMP

I told you she wasn’t hot.

JERRY

Hold on. I got Joe Biden on the phone.

JERRY

Hi Joe.

JOE BIDEN

C’mon, man. Let me talk to that clown.

JERRY

(all three are on the line) Okay, fellas. Go at it.

BIDEN

Trump. You left me with a migrant problem at the southern border. COVID through the roof, and debt I haven’t seen since George W. Bush was in office.

TRUMP

I’m the king of debt. I understand debt probably better than anybody. Simple math, Sleepy Joe. If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.

BIDEN

When you were President, the coronavirus was out of control. You did nothing to get shots in the arms of Americans. Within 6 months of my presidency, 66% of the country was vaccinated. I saved thousands of lives.

TRUMP

(sarcastic) I’ll give you a medal. I remember when I got a gold medal in track. I was so proud that I had it bronzed.

BIDEN

Knock, knock.

TRUMP

Who’s there?

BIDEN

Annie.

TRUMP

Annie who?

BIDEN

Annie thing you can do, I can do better.

JERRY

Joe. Why have you been so successful since being in office?

BIDEN

I am fighting for the middle of the road, a little toad. I mean a commode. Bottom line, I make a helluva Vice President.

JERRY

You’re the President.

BIDEN

Smart Aleck. You’re trying to get a cheap laugh at my expense.

JERRY

No. It’s the truth.

BIDEN

Can I call a lifeline?

TRUMP

I’m the real President. Will be back in the White House in 2024. I’m a very stable genius.

BIDEN

You mean evil genius. Lock him up, Merrick Garland.

ANNOUNCER ROD SERLING

Donald Trump, age 76. A loser, liar and cheat. Successful in nothing except in the one effort that a few men try at some time in their lives — dating Stormy Daniels. And perhaps across his empty mind, there will be a flit, a little errant wish. That a man might not have to become old. Never outgrow the parks and merry-go-rounds of his youth, where his parents tried to abandon him. And Donald will smile, because he’ll know it is just an errant wish. Some wisp of memory not too important really. Some laughing ghosts that cross a man’s mind, on The Jerry Duncan Show.

 

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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