Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews the brain worm inside Robert F. Kennedy Jr’s skull.
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is Wiggly. He is the brain worm inside Robert F. Kennedy Jr‘s skull.
JERRY
Good morning, Wiggly.
WIGGLY THE BRAIN WORM
Is it morning just because the sun is out?
JERRY
You sound like the nut job where you live.
WIGGLY
I guess I’ve been in the brain of RFK, Jr too long.
JERRY
How in the hell did you get in his head?
WIGGLY
It happened in 2010. RFK, Jr was walking through a jungle in Africa searching for lions. While he was eating lunch, I snuck inside his pork sandwich. He swallowed me. Duncan, I’m on a life journey. I’m trying to learn a new thing every month.
JERRY
Name something you learned.
WIGGLY
That there is a difference between the brain of RFK, Jr and manure.
JERRY
How so?
WIGGLY
Manure can be useful.
JERRY
Always wondered. Do worms have babies?
WIGGLY
Yeah. But I have male and female reproductive cells. We’re called a hermaphrodite.
JERRY
I’m confused.
WIGGLY
So are the worms I date. I’m better off living the bachelor life in RFK Jr’s brain. Free food and housing.
JERRY
Do you have siblings?
WIGGLY
I had twin brothers, but they were eaten by a bird.
JERRY
I’m sorry.
WIGGLY
Don’t be. They could never get a good night’s sleep. One morning a crow saw them. The rest is history. The early bird catches the worm.
JERRY
You mean two worms.
WIGGLY
I stand corrected.
JERRY
Why not live in an apple? I bet it tastes better.
WIGGLY
Think about it. Could anything be worse for a person than finding a worm in an apple?
JERRY
Sure. Half a worm.
JERRY
Now that you’ve eaten a portion of RFK’s brain, has he done anything about it?
WIGGLY
No. Thank goodness the moron doesn’t believe in deworming. He wants to keep me around in case he goes fishing.
JERRY
You’ll die, slimy.
WIGGLY
Not a chance. Need more space to grow. Heard Donald Trump doesn’t have a brain. Headed to Mar-a-Lago, Duncan. The Trumpster will have a H-U-G-E surprise in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
JERRY
And a new Republican slogan, “Make Maggot Great Again.” Wiggly the worm everyone. See you tomorrow.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
