Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, let’s not worry our pretty little heads over the news: remember, something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon.
Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
Dennis Rodman sings Happy Birthday to Kim Jong Un
Jong Un sings “Who Let the Dogs Out?” What a kidder.
Macy’s announces job cuts
Then who’s the salesperson going to being talking to instead of helping me…
Winter tires could pose health problems
Especially if you wind up under them…
Mitt Romney is being sued in Federal Court for Criminal Racketeering
Can’t wait for the musical version — The Cooked Books of Mormon.
Wal-Mart recalls donkey meat
Saying customers deserve best quality horse.
Denver gives out recreational pot sales licenses
Bringing new meaning to Denver being “The Mile High City.”
Cracker Barrel puts ‘Duck Dynasty’ items back on shelves
Putting the Cracker in Cracker Barrel.