Charlie Brown Works for Peanuts While Lucy Harvests the Crop

The Peanuts gang grows up

Charlie Brown of the comic strip ‘Peanuts’ fame grew up to be a manager of a Seven-Eleven and invested much of his meager salary in stocks during the nineties. When the economic collapse of 2008 hit, his stock savings were wiped out, he lost his small suburban house and almost ended up homeless. He spent many nights musing over what had gone wrong.

Lucy Van Pelt (Lucy from Peanuts) grew up to be a stockbroker, weaseling her way to success and fortune by clever manipulation of the market and clients, striving and thriving through sheer arrogance and avarice. She was one of the few who came out ahead when the 2008 crisis hit because she knew the game well enough to put herself in an advantageous position. So successfully did she play all the financial cards in her hands that she soon opened her own brokerage.

One day she met Charlie Brown on the street and invited him over for old times sake. When he arrived she invited him outside for a game of kick the football.

“Wait a minute!” exclaimed Charlie Brown, “I’m not falling for that old trick again. When we were kids you always pulled the football away at the last minute and I took a prat fall.”

“Oh, but we’re adults now.” said Lucy. “Come on, lets make this more interesting. I’ll pretend that this football is an incredible new stock option that you can invest in that will lift you out of the debt you are in. All you have to do is kick it through the field goal of high finance to get your reward. You just have to trust in me to take care of your money for you.”

Charlie Brown was leery and hesitated. “I don’t know about this,” he said with great concern.

“Oh come now, Charlie Brown! Don’t be a blockhead!” scolded Lucy. “If you can’t trust your stockbroker who can you trust?”

“Well…OK…” Charlie took a run at the ball and just as he was about to kick it, Lucy yanked it away.

“Aaaagh!” screamed Charlie Brown as he landed on his back.

“Some people never learn,” snickered Lucy as she tucked the ball under her arm and headed into the house. “Thank goodness for that! They are what make me rich!”

Roger Freed