The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Melania Trump and Michelle Obama

Wherein our intrepid talk radio host interviews First Lady Melania Trump and former First Lady Michelle Obama.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. My guests today are First Lady Melania Trump and former First Lady Michelle Obama.

First Lady Melania Trump and former First Lady Michelle ObamaJERRY

Hi Ladies.

MELANIA TRUMP

Hi Mr. Donuts.

JERRY

It’s Duncan, you idiot.

MELANIA

Sorry. Husband thought joke funny.

JERRY

Your husband is a joke, Melanoma.

MICHELLE OBAMA

Yo Dude. Wassup?

JERRY

I’m chillin.

MELANIA

I’m chillin, too. Cold in here. Remind me Slovenia.

JERRY

Michelle. What have you been up to lately?

MICHELLE

I’m on a book tour for my best seller Becoming. It’s about growing up poor on the South Side of Chicago to becoming First Lady.

MELANIA

You write nasty about Donald.

MICHELLE

Yes, girlfriend. I did. You know why?

MELANIA

No.

MICHELLE

He dissed Barack. Said he was born in Kenya.

MELANIA

Knock, knock!

MICHELLE

Who’s there?

MELANIA

Kenya.

MICHELLE

Kenya who?

MELANIA

Can ya show his birth certificate?

MICHELLE

That’s pretty shallow even for a mail order bride.

MELANIA

Don’t be mad, don’t feel blue. Frankenstein ugly like you.

JERRY

Michelle. You promoted healthy foods while you were First Lady. Had your own vegetable garden on the South Lawn of the White House.

MICHELLE

That’s right. We grew hot peppers, spinach, berries, lettuce. And I added a beehive to collect honey to make White House Ale. In fact, Speaker John Boehner used to get sloppy drunk. Once I found him face down in the Rose Garden crying for Nancy Pelosi.

JERRY

What’s your favorite vegetable?

MICHELLE

Tomatoes.

JERRY

Melania. What’s yours?

MELANIA

Husband.

JERRY

Speaking of which. I understand the Trumpster wants to deport criminals.

MELANIA

Of course.

JERRY

When is he leaving?

MICHELLE

Couldn’t be soon enough.

JERRY

Melania. Your husband got rid of Obamacare and replaced it with Trumpcare.

MELANIA

Like cancer, keep cancer.

JERRY

See you tomorrow. Wait a second, Melania wants to say something.

MELANIA

Donald deporting 12 million illegals Juan by Juan.

JERRY

You lunatic. Go read The Art of the Deal. It starts at Chapter 11.

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Dean Kaner

Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis.