Arabella’s Dictionary: Ridiculous Behaviors

A thoroughly modern, if irreverent, dictionary for your edification. In this edition: ridiculous behaviors.

Bittyclippy (bit-e-clip-e): This is when a girl just barely dings the car of someone she detests. Intentionally. And then guiltily giggles as she wonders ‘is this illegal, since it’s only a bittyclippy?’

ridiculous behaviors

Exswerve (eks-werv-eh): A graceful side-walk that boosts a girl’s ability to avoid her ex-boyfriend. For example, say Jill gets invited to a party and Jack, her ex, ends up being there too. Jack sees Jill and waves at her vehemently as he marches hastily across the crowded room to her. But Jill is educated on the exswerve, and as Jack approaches her, she neatly slides several steps diagonally away from Jack and eludes him altogether. Poor Jack is left alone, scanning the room for Jill. Alas, Jill cannot be found, thanks to the exswerve.

Fedripper: A person who sells her food stamps for drugs and alcohol is a fedripper. She collects the federal monies onto her EBT card once a month, gets all gussied up and goes into her favorite pub and yells jubilantly, ‘Does anyone want to trade free food stamps for drinks or weed? Got food stamps I’ll trade for weed.’ The fedripper goes from barstool to barstool emitting her deviousness — and sooner or later, some stoner takes her up on her proposition. 

Hikar (he-kaar): Hikar is the sonority that a salesman’s nares make when he is laughing.

Lidpusher (lid-push-er): People who think everyone should wear hats are lidpushers. They keep flat caps, pillboxes, sun visors and bowlers with bows in a box in the backseat of their cars everywhere they go, just in case they see someone whose crown they feel needs a topping.

ridiculous behaviors

Ouph (oof): People who go ahead and eat food after it’s been on the floor for more than 5 seconds are ouphs.

Quorp (kworp): A quorp is a waiter/waitress who scarves down all the leftovers off of dirty plates at restaurants.

Shiggle (shig-gul): Women and dogs do this. One shiggles when feeling giddily flirtatious. It is when the lower half of one’s body – mainly the hips – inadvertently shakes and shimmies. The shiggling person or dog cannot be blamed for the shiggles as it is a normal reaction of the nervous system when one spots her owner or very good friend. Sometimes even a complete stranger can be mistaken for a very good friend.

Woggle (wog-gul) To woggle is to sit upon a chair that has one or more bad legs and precariously totter back and forth. As strange as it seems, some people actually like to woggle. When these types of persons are at a restaurant or bar, they will boldly, gleefully and with much anticipation request the woggliest chair in the entire place!

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