The Jerry Duncan Show Tweets on Twitter, Part I

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host shows off his tweets on Twitter.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Yes, indeed. I’ve been Tweeting like a bird on Twitter. Guess what? I’m going to share my Tweets with you on the next two shows. Hang on to your seat, folks…

If you Google “bitch,” Kellyanne Conway pops up.

Former AG Bill Barr can’t hide his complicity in the corruption of the Trump administration any more than he can hide the fact he devoured a dozen donuts this morning at Krispy Kreme.

If Jewish people are damned for eternity by hate groups, there will be no more Seinfeld reruns.

It’s not Trump who wishes he was never born. It was his mother.

The Delta Variant is the dominating virus in the U.S. Looks like the South will lose the war again.

BREAKING NEWS: The Mars Rover found Governor Ron DeSantis’s birth mother.

Laura Ingraham happens when cockroaches mate.

The Taliban look like a casting call for the Broadway musical Aladdin.

The only good thing about liar Michael Flynn is that he can entertain himself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

Senator Ron Johnson is like a shit show in a dumpster fire.

Rep. Matt Gaetz just got married. I suggest a honeymoon to the Bermuda Triangle.

How real is the threat to American democracy if Republicans restrict voting? Just ask Vlad Putin.

Florida is the only place where a loan shark is considered a fish.

Hey, Jeffrey Toobin at CNN. Gotta give you credit. You found a way to entertain yourself in a pandemic.

Jane Fonda. If you had a twin, you’d know what you really looked like.

Former Veep Pence. Now that you’re unemployed, how about hosting a revival of Girls Gone Wild?

Guess what, Rudy Giuliani? The psychiatric ward just called. You missed bed check.

Kim Kardashian is the first woman to have an engagement ring with a carat size larger than her IQ.

I heard Helen Keller tried to read the pimples on Steve Bannon’s face.

Tucker Carlson. I have breaking medical news. You can use Viagra Chapstick to keep a “stiff upper lip.”

Like Caitlyn Jenner, the Afghan Army had no balls.

Today is International Joke Day. Do we really need a day dedicated to Donald Trump?

After spending 10 days at the Tokyo Olympics and seeing how the Japanese drive, I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

You know Queen Elizabeth is old when the oxygen mask drops from the ceiling after she blows out the candles on her birthday cake.

That’s it. Flush hard, folks. It’s a long way to Mar-a-Lago. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

Share
Share