Funny Women Who Asked for It: Turning the Tables on Sexual Harassment

funny women

I was a little hard on the Cuomo – after all, many funny women may also be guilty of “sexual harassment.”

Feeling a bit guilty after my last article, “Win a Date with a Cuomo” on the pitiful New York Governor — it occurred to me that some funny women may also be guilty of sexual harassment in the form of Jokes!

Yes, there’s been lots of dirty old women out there & all were asking for it!

And here’s just a few.  Take MAE WEST please!

“Come up & see me some time”!

“When I’m good I’m very good, but when I’m bad I’m better”!

“Too much of a good thing…can be wonderful”!

“Is that a Pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me”?


funny women

“There ain’t nothing an old man can do for me but bring me a message from a young one”!

“Anytime I have my arms around an old man is when I’m holding him for the police”!

“A woman’s a woman until the day she dies, but a man’s only a man as long as he can”!

“Help me through the night?  If you can make it for half an hour – you’re alright with me”!



“I’m 18 years behind in my Ironing”!

“Housework can’t kill you – but why take a chance”!

“I serve dinner in 3 phases.  Serve the Food.  Clear the table.  Bury the dead”!

“My body is in such bad shape I wear Prescription Underwear”!

Nah, she’s innocent!

DAME EDNA (Everage)


“Hello Possums…isn’t it amazing – I brought 3 children into this world yet I have no stretch marks!

“I was just talking to my Gynecologist – I’m still capable of having Grandchildren”!

“I founded ‘Friends of the Prostate’ in honor of my late husband’s ‘Testicular Murmur’!

“Years ago I dated Bill Gates & he’s still looking for my Mouse”!

And, MARILYN SANDS (1980’s)

funny women

“My husband says sex is like Golf – you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it – he’s telling me”!

“No, he’s not romantic – after sex what kind of guy says, ‘I’m outta here’?

“But we have an Open Relationship – after sex we talk about the people we just fantasized about”!

“And now he says sex should only be done in bed.  I said, “Does that mean no more Stovetop Stuffing”?

Well, you can’t say I haven’t proven it’s a ‘MeToo’ Movement!

Me at 13 years old doing ‘Moms Mabley!’
Marilyn Sands