[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Assad’s own methods inspire solution to chemical weapons predicament
A huge problem has developed regarding the disposal of the chemical weapons possessed by Bashar Assad’s military in Syria.
Used to cripple and decimate his own people, Assad escaped a bombing by U.S. Forces in retaliation by promising to turn all chemical weapons over to international powers that would inventory and get rid of them.
Unfortunately, no one wants to take them. Volunteers have come forward to do the inventory, transport them to the ocean, to load them on ships, to sail them. But no one wants to take and dispose of them in their own country.
So we have trash men willing to pick up the garbage, but no dump to put it in.
France is willing to inspect the chemicals, but not to take them in.
Norway is willing to transport them to the shore, but not to let them in their own country. The U.S. is willing to take them out to sea, but not to have them under our soil.
What to do?
The coalition of nations finally came up with a solution that they all agreed to.
They hired planes to fly over the Syrian capital Damascus and drop its load over Assad’s palace.
Without telling him.
While he is in it.
The Chinese and Russians howled in protest over it.
The other nations just saw it as solving two big problems.
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