SFMT ad
Humor Times subscribe
Humor Times App

Donald of a 1,000 Days…or it just seems that way!

May 012017
 
 By , May 1, 2017

Donald

Our president’s tumultuous time in office so far has conjured up for me a beheading with a crowd size even Donald Trump would be happy with.

In Henry VIII‘s reign, he only beheaded two of his six wives — on average, that’s not so bad.

And, Anne didn’t even know Putin!

And, as far as I can tell, she never tweeted.  Well, if you don’t count the end when she said she had a headache!

Well, I think fired while in office is like a beheading — but I also suggest his fingers too — in case he has some last words about the democrats or why Devin Nunes was wearing his bathrobe!

That would also end the spectacle of paper-pushing Executive Actions & Proclamations — a lot like Little Donnie showing his mommy his BM!

As for Ivanka having his ear — that’s one ear closer to the Nuclear Button!  Next thing you know, she’ll be passing out secrets like perfume samples!

Nobody’s happy — Americans living from paycheck to paycheck can’t relate to her $741 Million in the bank — even with Free Checking!

Okay, let his daughter have his ear — we can have the rest of his head for science.  But, please don’t expect too much — if we can’t figure him out while he’s fully connected, the findings after is at least 50% less!

The nose, the hair, those pouty lips — all been pre-booked & spoken for.  There was a lottery & 1st dibs go to The Mayo-lite Clinic & The Mensa Recount Group.  All we can hope for is they leave us the part that could get in the wrong hands & multiply!  Remember the cloned sheep?

But in the end, it may well be Melania who does the beheading when she sets his smartphone down on Trump Tower’s Penthouse ledge — swings his nine iron & shouts, “Tveet this”!

I, on the other hand say — Donald Trump can avoid this headless state & potential National Holiday — if he just lifts his leg ever-so-slowly onto Lincoln’s hassock & pleads, “Gout”!

 

The following two tabs change content below.
avatar

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
avatar

Latest posts by Marilyn Sands (see all)

Like the above content? Leave a comment below! Get notified of new content on HumorTimes.com: Subscribe via email!

Skip to toolbar