[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Rush Limbaugh was trying to find a hole in the ground when he accidentally stuck his head up his ass. He was rushed to Good Samaritan Medical Center in West Palm Beach where doctors were working to dislodge said head from said ass.
At last report, several doctors were in the lounge drinking coffee and pondering their next move.
“We’ve already tried pulling it out forcefully,” said one doctor, “but he won’t shut, up and his mouth is preventing us from pulling it straight out.”
“Yeah,” said another doctor. “It’s not like there isn’t enough grease down there to allow the head to move about freely; it’s his mouth that is causing some serious suction that we can’t seem to break.”
“I sure hope we come up with a solution soon,” said one doctor on his third cup of coffee. “Although I have to admit, it’s pretty funny when Rush keeps yelling at us to pull his own head out of his ass for a change,” he chuckled as he ordered a late-night snack.
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