[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

DeSantis Serves ‘Banana Republic’ Snacks at Nude Family Resort

“Banana Republic” snacks were a big hit at a “family nudist resort” in Florida today, the state’s new press secretary announced.

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is serving “Banana Republic” snacks at a family nudist resort in the Sunshine State today, his new press secretary announced.

Banana Republic guvStanding fully clothed, Bryan Griffin, the new state flack, told “legacy media” reporters they could not attend the event. He replaced Christina Pushaw, who resigned as the governor’s press secretary this week. Pushaw took off her gloves, not her clothes, to assume a combative role in the DeSantis for Governor campaign.

Griffin, a founding member of the Emergency Committee for America, dared journalists to crash the party. He said, “We’re holding it at the no-clothing pool. Let’s see how many perverts in the press show up.”

Griffin added, “Why don’t you leave the kids and the adults alone so they can splash around in the pool? They want to hang with the governor and enjoy the warm sun against their bare skin.”

The nude family resort is highlighted on the nude beaches page of the state-funded website, Visit Florida.

Liberal Democrats pounced on the hypocrisy of a governor who denounces the “sexualization” of childhood and woke thinking and behavior.

“He takes action against a Miami restaurant that held a drag show,” said a man dressed as a woman. “But then DeSantis attends a nude family resort with a no-clothing pool to hand out bananas. That’s just bananas. Welcome to the Banana Republic of Florida.”

Steve Schneider