[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Congressman ‘Santos’ Flees Country, Interpol Nabs Him

Breaking news: Santos flees country. Updates expected when Interpol authorities provide more information.

Congressman “George Santos” fled the United States today, leaving behind a husband, an ex-wife, and a Speaker of the House of Representatives. The newly elected New York Congressman reportedly left hours before Interpol came for him. 

Interpol flag, fair use.

A source told this politically incorrect reporter the following: “Santos isn’t really named Santos.  And he’s got several different names, in several different countries outside of the U.S.”

The source, begging anonymity lest the GOP-controlled House investigate him, gave your correspondent more details.  He said: “’Santos’ is from Queens, or Brazil, or possibly a few more places around the world.  And he stands accused of crimes in nations besides Brazil.  In short, this guy, if he really is a guy, he may have had a sex change operation, is a hot mess.”

But the source added, “Interpol somehow got his DNA and ran it.  And they found all sorts of interesting things about this MAGA Republican businessman who may have been born a woman.”

Reached for comment, an Interpol spokeswoman provided little information.  However, she said, “We’ve got a world-wide manhunt under way for the person who now calls himself George Santos.  We’ll release more information after we put him in handcuffs.”

Steve Schneider