Tuberville: The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

Tommy Tuberville reprises his appearance on “The Source” with Kaitlin Collins.

Junior Senator Thomas (Tommy) Tuberville (R. Al) appeared on The Source on CNN Monday night with host Kaitlin Collins, at which time he defended a number of recent controversial policy positions. These positions include a one-man effort to forestall the replacement of top outgoing military personnel, whose positions have recently become vacated. A second issue ties to the first:

Tuberville speaks with Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin
Tuberville speaks with Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin. Photo via office of the Secretary of Defense, CC BY 2.0.

Tuberville has closed the nominations because of a Department of Defense policy that provides resources to military personnel and their families, who seek out-of-state abortion services when deployed in states in which abortions are illegal. And finally, the Junior Senator from Alabama has refused to acknowledge the character of individuals who self-identify as “white nationalists.”

Tuberville first rose to prominence as a college football coach more than thirty years ago. A non-descript safety on the Muledriver’s Athletics out of S. Arkansas University, Tuberville found his niche in coaching at the collegiate level. While boasting a winning record at Auburn, he garnered a reputation as a “choke artist” by blowing the big games in which his team was favored to win.

A part of Tuberville’s winning senatorial platform was “No abortions, no time, for any reason.”

“I don’t care if the chick is raped by a tribe of wild Indians,” remarked Tuberville at a campaign event in Montgomery, “and they’re all her uncles and brothers and cousins, and her life is at risk: no abortions. Period!” The campaign gambit was effective, as Tuberville won by more than 20 percentage points against incumbent Senator Doug Jones.

In retaliation against the Department of Defense (DOF) policy of providing resources to military personnel and their families, to obtain out-of-state abortions, when they are deployed in states which do not allow abortions, Tuberville has held up the nominating process required to select personnel to replace outgoing officials. As a result, for the first time in more than a century, the Marine Corp is absent a permanent Commandant. When asked by Collins how he felt about the consternation being experienced by the military, in which he never served, he curtly replied, “Screw ’em!”

Perhaps the most controversiasl aspect of Tuberville’s tenure as a senator has been his reluctance to characterize the nature of “white nationalist” to the satisfaction of his critics.

“A white nationalist,” suggested Collins, “is a racist.”

“To me, it’s an American,” averred Tuberville, acknowledging that white nationalists, “so-called,” may have “opinions and thoughts that are different from other people. To me, they’re just Trump supporters.”

“But,” said Collins, “you understand why the military doesn’t want white nationalists to belong to the services, correct?”

“Taking most of the white people out of the military could ruin the service,” declared Tuberville with vigor.

“Not white people,” objected Collins. “Only white nationalists.” The Southern Poverty Law Center has defined white nationalism as the promulgation of “white supremacy or white separatism, based on the notion that the white race is allegedly superior to non-white races.”

Tuberville nodded. “And what is the question, Kitty?”

“The question is, do you support racism?” she exclaimed.

“Absolutely not,” he declared. “I’m 110% against racism. On the other hand,” he went on, “I’m 140% against interracial marriage; 160% against miscegenation; and fully 200% against pickaninnies.”

Collins blew out a breath, seemed to be at the end of her rope, when Tuberville added, “To show my heart’s in the right place, I do support abortions for coloreds, except when it’s done to save the life of the mother.”

As Kaitlin Collins gathered her papers together, Tuberville looked over and remarked, “You been askin’ me a lot of questions tonight. Well, I gots a question for you.”

Collins narrowed her eyes at him. “Yes?” she asked. “What is it?”

“Why’d you call the episode tonight, ‘The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree?'”

“The ‘tree,” explained Collins, is your career, which began at Muledriver Athletics in the South. And the ‘apple,’ she went on, is you, now serving as a horse’s ass in the Senate. Get it?” she quipped.

“Got it,” he replied.

Bill Tope
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