Trash Collector Interview: Talk Radio - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews trash collector Benji Johnson, or as he prefers to call it, “a sanitation engineer with a degree in garbology.”

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Yes, it is. Today on the show my guest is Benji Johnson from Duluth, Minnesota. He is a trash collector, or as he calls it, “a sanitation engineer with a degree in garbology.”

JERRY

Welcome to the show.

BENJI JOHNSON

Oh ya, for sure. Somebody told me your show is garbage. As we say in my business “No Trash Left Behind.”

JERRY

I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, numb nuts. What is garbology anyway?

BENJI

It’s the study of trash and trash cans. Prit near genius idea.

JERRY

There’s a degree for that crap?

BENJI

Yep. Received my BS from Trump University.

JERRY

I’ll stop right there. More bullshit than I can handle.

BENJI

102 tons of garbage per person in a lifetime, Duncan.

JERRY

C’mon. Really?

BENJI

I bet you didn’t know that trash originally referred to chicken giblets. It was fed to pigs and other livestock.

JERRY

You just reminded me. Did you hear about the trash bins who got dressed up?

BENJI

Now you’re pulling my chain.

JERRY

No. They heard they were being taken out.

BENJI

Sounds right.

JERRY

I understand when you fellas collect trash from the street, they are sorted in different color bins.

BENJI

True. There’s a blue bin for recyclable trash like paper, a green bin for solid trash like foods, and a bin for white trash like Congresswoman Lauren Boebert and Senator Tommy Tuberville.

JERRY

So why are you living in Duluth?

BENJI

I’ll tell you why. When my wife and I was on our honeymoon, we drove to Minneapolis. I put my hand on her thigh and she said, “We’re married now so you can go farder if you want.” So I drove 158 miles north to Duluth.

JERRY

Benji Johnson everyone. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.