[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Pat Robertson Blames Lack of Belief in God on Atheists

‘Atheists would all go to hell, except they don’t believe in it,’ says televangelist

After the tragic shooting at a Sikh temple near Milwaukee that left 6 people dead Sunday, Televangelist Pat Robertson, on his 700 Club TV show today, said that the shooter was probably an atheist or devil worshiper.

Pat Robertson Blames Lack of Belief in God on Atheists
Pat Robertson, God expert, explains how He feels about atheists.

The fact that there is absolutely no evidence that suspect Wade Michael Page, a 40-year-old Army veteran, is an atheist apparently does not matter to Robertson. Page had a number of tattoos, including one of a Celtic knot — which is commonly used as a symbol of the Christian Holy Trinity.

“What is it?” the TV preacher conjectured. “Is it satanic? Is it some spiritual thing, people who are atheists, they hate God, they hate the expression of God?”

“Of course it is,” he answered himself. “And the fact that atheists will moan and howl and say it isn’t true is just more proof that I’m right. Because they don’t believe the truth, therefore, whatever they do believe is false, you see.”

Later, Robertson went further. “God hates these people for their non-belief, just as he hates vegetarians. Like Christ, faithful farm animals die for us, but vegetarians heap scorn upon them. Poor, dumb animals.”

“You can’t get to heaven without believing in God,” continued Robertson. “So, naturally, atheists would all go to hell, except they don’t believe in it.”

Robertson closed his show with a eulogy for non-believers: “What a sad afterlife they’ll have, wandering around in the nether-world, lost between heaven and hell. Except, they don’t believe in the afterlife either. Hmm.”

James Israel
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