Songs love to ask questions, but where are the answers? Right here.
Many songs ask questions: How can I be sure, in a world that’s constantly changing, how can I be sure, where I stand with you? Etcetera. But ask yourself: how many of these songs give us answers to their questions? Precious few, unfortunately.
So here at last are answers to 10 of the most popular questions in classic songdom.
Q: Where have all the flowers gone?
A: Gone to florists every one.
Q: Who put the Ram in the Rama Lama Ding Dong?
A: Julia Childs. She also put the Lamb in the Lamba Rama Vindaloo.
Q: Will you still love me tomorrow?
A: Possibly; but to be technical, I don’t actually love you now.
Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?
A: No, but my iPhone has Google Maps Version 2.2.0.
Q: How many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry?
A: One
Q: How do you do what you do to me?
A: I work out twice a week with a personal trainer.
Q: I’ve been cheated, been mistreated, when will I be loved?
A: Take off 10 pounds, fix the nose, get a personal trainer… then maybe you’ll be loved. At least, you won’t be mistreated, made blue or lied to.
Q: Why don’t we do it in the road?
A: Because someone may be watching us … besides, you always insist on being on top.
Q: Does anybody really know what time it is?
A: Does anybody really care?
Q: How can you measure the life of a woman or a man?
A: You can use dog years, but it will make them sound very old.
Howard Zaharoff
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