Why going bald is a blessing
Ever since I started to shed my hair in my twenties, friends and family have expressed sympathy for my balding pate and plight. So it’s time I set the record straight and explain why losing your hair is a benefit, and doing it early is a blessing. Here are a few of the many reasons why it’s best to go bald early.
- The cost of haircuts is trimmed dramatically (no pun). (Note: Many men compensate by growing beards, but these also need cutting, which can eliminate the haircut savings. Beware!)
- When you start to go gray, it doesn’t show as much (provided you’ve skipped the compensating beard).
- You save a bundle on shampoo, not to mention gels, creams and colorizers. Consider: If you’re bald by 30 and live to 85, those 55 years of shampoo savings probably puts an extra $2K- $3K in your wallet. (Note: A thick wallet is the number 5 cause of back pain, so don’t leave these savings in your wallet, deposit them at your bank.)
- You’re less likely to be carded when ordering alcohol (so you’ll need to retrieve that overstuffed wallet less often).
- You rarely have a bad hair day; even high winds are a breeze (no pun).
- Reputedly some women find bald – think Bruce Willis and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – sexy. (Note: I have yet to meet those women.)
- It makes you easier to spot in crowds, especially on a sunny day .
- You appeal more to an older class of women. (Note: But you appeal less to younger women. So it’s a wash.).
- You avoid several decades of boorish “hair” jokes (“You know you need a haircut if…,” “He was so hairy that…”). (I assume such jokes exist. For obvious reasons, I don’t hear them.
- In good weather, you can meet your minimum daily requirement of Vitamin D while erect (Beware the peeling sunburn which looks like dandruff!).
- You don’t associate balding – which eventually happens to most men – with loss of virility, so it’s actually less depressing to go bald at 30 than 50.
- It makes it easier to get accurate hat measurements.
Please share YOUR reasons for feting premature baldness…