A CNN Comment Box Love Story

,

Love story blossoms in the CNN comment section

Love Story playgroundYoMomma_101 28 minutes ago

Wow, a 12 year old boy from Florida is charged with murder on the playground? Before we totally pounce on this kid for murder and back him against the wall for the firing squad, has anyone considered that he may have been just standing his ground to defend the teeter-totter? I mean, like, this 9 year old may have been threatening the 12 year old with a squirt from a juice box, and the boy was probably weaned on a gun from the time his lips could pucker. Know what I mean?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 26 minutes ago

Oh, so now it’s another hit on the gun rights of Americans. You liberotards make me sick!!! You make all gun rights activists seem like we’re missing penises of something. Like we sucked on gun barrels rather than a binky! Or use gun barrels as dildos! Listen, YoMomma_101 I don’t have a penis, thank God, being a 100% woman, but let’s not make this tragedy a soapbox to bash gun owners. I’m sure the 12 year old had a permit. Haven’t you heard of the 2nd Amendment, or do you live in New Jersey?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 24 minutes ago

How did you know I lived in New Jersey. Librotards! Original! Nice portmanteau! I didn’t think you were educated in FLYOVER COUNTRY And yes, contrary to you cretins in the midwest, we are allowed to have guns in the state. We just can’t buy them at 7-Eleven with our Big Gulp and chewing tobacco. How did a 12 year old get a gun? It’s ridiculous that in this country we just can’t avoid guns. But I do like you attitude. You sound kinda sweet, even with your wrong attitude.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 23 minutes ago

Well, thanks, I think. But why do you dish on guns so much. It is wasn’t for guns, you’d still be kissing George III’s ass or worshipping that stupid queen in England. Don’t you know if we surrendered our guns, we could just become a dictatorship? Have you any understanding of history and revolution? So, do you like it in New Jersey?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 22 minutes ago

Well, sure, it’s close to just about everything that’s AWESOME like NYC and Philly and the shore and the Poconos and Boston’s not far or DC. Christy is an a$$. The girls are okay.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 21 minutes ago

What do you mean by okay? I wouldn’t want some hot guy saying I was just okay.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 20 minutes ago

Well, I hate to stereotype, but the girls I know just want to shop at the mall, buy ridiculously expensive shoes at Nordstrom’s and then and jump right into bed, you know. This hook-up culture makes me sick. I’m a traditional type of guy. Conservative, even. Does that make me weird? And did you mean to say that I was hot? I can’t get tone on the comment box. Were you being sarcastic?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 18 minutes ago

No. Well, I’m not sure if you’re totally hot, but I like guys that read news. Guys I meet just like to go to bars, guzzle booze from PVC piping, shoot pool, drop a hit of acid by the dumpsters, and shoot defenseless animals with night vision goggles. I’m all for gun rights, but I draw the line at critter killing.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 16 minutes ago

Are you a vegetarian? It would be so totally cool if you were! I mean, your “it” factor would increase by like 10 if you were. Please please please tell me you don’t eat meat!

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 15 minutes ago

Oh, I don’t eat red meat, but only turkey and chicken. And fish. Can I rank a 5?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 14 minutes ago

I don’t a $hit. I’ll still give you a 10. I like your honesty. I do. So, can you tell me what you like to do?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 13 minutes ago

Oh, I write poetry and play blues guitar for my cats and I work for a guy I hate. He hits on me all the time, but I need the money, you know. I’m all alone out here, except for my cats and my momma and my bazooka.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 12 minutes ago

OMG! Like you should totally play for our band. We have a band and we need a guitarist. I’m looking for a new direction for the band and a female singer would be AWESOME. Are you into Metric? We gig at some real dives and you could protect us, you know. Where do you live?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 10 minutes ago

Council Bluffs, Iowa.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 10 minutes ago

$hit! $hit! Are you kidding? You need to come East! We could meet. I could take you to this great cafe.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 9 minutes ago

What? Just hop on a plane and come East? Just like that? Are you crazy? You could be a worse than a troll! You could be a psycho killer! or an Obama operative from the NSA.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 8 minutes ago

Sweetheart, you don’t need to hit me with that low blow. Do I sound like an NSA operative? Can you send me some of your lyrics? I’m getting excited just thinking of all the new possibilities! Perhaps things are changing after all for us! Please tell me you’re good-looking. Not that I want to be superficial! I’m about an 8.6.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 7 minutes ago

Perfect. I’m an 8.7 on the hottie-scale. A 9.5 if I could out the Little Debbie. Wasn’t it Yeats that says love first comes in at the eye?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 6 minutes ago

Liar Liar! It first comes through in the Comment Box on The Daily Beast! And you do love poetry!!!!

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 5 minutes ago

LOL! That’s sweet. Here are some lyrics. I wrote this. It’s called Without You. I’ve been thinking about you day by day. I know I’m never gonna get over it. Cause you’re everything to me, baby. And you can’t let me down, cause I’ve been missing you all my life, so stay baby, stay baby, stay baby.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

BigDude112 5 minutes ago

That’s the worse peace of $hit I eva read

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 4 minutes ago

Stay out of this BigDude. Go troll somewhere else! And learn to spell, cretin!

Flag Share Like Reply

 

BigDude112 4 minutes ago

Get a room! You kids know what to do when alone? Or do you need instructions?

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 4 minutes ago

Go back to watching porn, you scum.

FlagShare LikeReply

 

SimplyPrince-less 3 minutes ago

Thanks for defending me. There are so many jerks on these sites

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 4 minutes ago

No prob. You need to come East ASAP!!!!! We can talk gun control and music and all that good stuff!!! I like a gal who sticks to her guns!

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 3 minutes ago

How will you find me? This is just so crazy!!!!!!!

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 3 minutes ago

Listen. Fly into Philly on Saturday. I’ll just be a guy in a blue in Arrivals in an L.L. Bean jacket holding a sign with red letters that says WITHOUT YOU.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 2 minutes ago

Ok! Okay! I’ll do it! I’ll come out. I guess my cats will be okay for a while. Is this crazy or what! Oh, please please please don’t be a crazy guy on the Internet! I’ve met far too many already.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

YoMomma_101 1 minutes ago

I’m as wholesome and good as American Pie, baby.

Flag Share Like Reply

 

SimplyPrince-less 1 minutes ago

This really could be it? Couldn’t it? And to think we can tell our children that we met by arguing about gun control. Who says the two sides can’t see eye to eye anymore? It’s a dawn of a new age in America!

Flag Share Like Reply

 

BigDude112 0 minutes ago

Comment deleted

Flag Share Like Reply

The following two tabs change content below.
Avatar

Walter Bowne

Walter Bowne is a writer of humor, creative nonfiction, essays, and literary fiction. He enjoys taking commas out and placing them back in again.
Avatar

Latest posts by Walter Bowne (see all)

While we have you…

… we have a small favor to ask. More and more people are reading the Humor Times, but advertising revenues for internet sites everywhere keep falling. And unlike so many other websites, we have not put up a paywall -- we want to keep this much-loved (and much-needed!) political humor free, if possible!

So you can see why we need to ask for your help. The Humor Times' unique content takes a lot of time and effort to produce... but we do it because we believe uncompromising political satire is more important than ever these days.

If everyone who reads and likes our website helps fund it, we can continue to help people laugh at the news, rather than cry about it! For as little as $1, you can support the Humor Times – and it only takes a minute. Thank you!

(Note: While this link will take you to a PayPal page, you have the option of using your credit card without joining PayPal. All amounts in USD.)

Or, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter via our Patreon Page, contributing a certain amount each month. You can do it for as long or as short a time as you like. It's a huge help with our monthly budget!

And/or, subscribe to the monthly Humor Times magazine! Subscriptions make great gifts!