Sleeping Apes and Washing Dishes: What I Learned from Magazines this Week

Roz Warren, Sleeping Apes and Washing Dishes: What I Learned from Magazines this Week

Reading magazines this week, I learned that:

Every 34 seconds, someone in the U.S. has a heart attack.
(AARP Magazine 3/16)

Mike Love is considered one of the biggest assholes in the history of rock & roll.
(Rolling Stone, 2/26/16)

At least half a dozen people have tried to kill Michael Moore.
(Rolling Stone, 2/26/16)

Kirk Douglas and his pals have a betting game in which they try to guess the average age of death in the Sunday New York Times obituary column each week.
(AARP Magazine 3/16)

Apes never sleep in the same place two nights in a row.
(Real Simple, 1/16)

Last December, Lady Gaga’s record label gave her a horse.
(Rolling Stone, 2/25/16)

Phil Collins used to own Davie Crockett’s musket.
(Entertainment Weekly, 2/26/16)

Sumner Redstone, 92, attributes his longevity, in part, to eating blueberries every day.
(The New Yorker, 2/22/16)

Women cry two to five times a month. Men cry once every two months.
(Time, 3/7/16)

The most popular time for crying is from 7:00 to 10:00 in the evening.
(Time, 3/7/16)

A lock of John Lennon’s hair is worth $35,000.
(Time, 3/7/16)

Women who keep processed cereal on their countertops weigh 21 pounds more than women who keep it stored out of sight.
(Prevention, 1/16)

The fear of being without your phone is called Nomophobia.
(Prevention, 1/16)

Washing dishes can reduce your level of stress and anger by 27% if you do it mindfully, focusing on the scent of the soap, the warmth of the water and how the dishes feel.
(Prevention, 1/16)

Married people survive heart attacks more often than single people.
(Time, 3/7/16)

A 33-year old British man recently changed his name to Bacon Double Cheeseburger.
(Time, 3/7/16)

(Roz Warren is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: a Collection of Library Humor.)

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Roz Warren
Roz Warren Roz is the author of Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library and Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor. She writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor, The Philadelphia Inquirer and of course, the Humor Times. Connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter or visit her website.
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