As far as Facebook is concerned, I am now an Old Lady.
I just turned 63, so naturally Facebook hit me with an ad for coping with memory loss. As far as my favorite social media site is concerned, I am now an Old Lady. When I asked my FB pals who are also Seniors what kind of promotions have been turning up in their feeds, they told me that in the upcoming days, I should expect to see ads for the following:
Senior dating sites
Viagra and Cialis
Medicare Supplemental Insurance
“Prevent Alzheimer’s Disease with Coconut Oil.” (If only it were that simple…)
Ads telling me what to do about my enlarged prostate
Make-up tips for “mature women”
And, worst of all?
I could continue to ignore ads like this. Or I could put them all together and see what happens!
I’ll apply make-up using those tips, then take a photo and post it on a senior dating site, where I’ll meet a balding man with an enlarged prostate. We’ll fall in love, reverse our mortgages and squander the resulting windfall on a gigantic walk-in bathtub where (after I cast off my Depends and he gobbles his Viagra) we’ll have lots and lots of sex. (Our safe word will be “Medical Supplemental Insurance.”)
Then? We’ll die of happiness & get cremated.
Latest posts by Roz Warren (see all)
- From Bacon to Meth: The World’s Weirdest Bookmarks - September 25, 2018
- Snake Poses on a Plane - August 19, 2018
- Mighty Ducks, Small Fluffy Dogs and Other Dating Dealbreakers - May 29, 2018