Snakes on Air Force One – Not a Fable

Air Force One is infested, and not in a good way

snakes on air force one
Movie Tag Line: “You knew damn well what I was before I… boarded!”

President Trump’s C-PAC Conference speech with his rendition of Aesop’s Fable reminded me of my raging Ophidiophobia & any movie with snakes!

My first symptoms?  Panic attack on Election Day.  My nemesis: The Yellow Bellied Bone Spur Snake.

I know, I know — New York City is not their natural habitat — but where do you think Snakeskin wallets come from & all with your choice of pics inside:

If you aren’t familiar with the fable, ‘The Farmer & the Snake”; the moral of the story is:

‘Learn from my fate not to take pity on a scoundrel.’

But, what really comes to my mind is a song from the 1951 (my mother told me, all right) movie musical “Royal Wedding” with Fred Astaire & Jane Powell singing.

“How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All My Life!”

Sorry folks, but you just don’t forget these obscure songs & believe me; I’ve tried!

My  kids know I wouldn’t be caught dead watching that creepy 2006 “Snakes on a Plane” movie — in a theater or safely in my snake-less house…  

…I won’t even go to Monty Python comedies!

It’s not surprising that 1/3 of all adults have this same phobia; but I also have a fear of Snake Charmers & Baskets —  frigin’ Picnics put me over the edge!

It’s so bad, I dream of Snakes — nah, forget about Freud; I’m going with last night’s Chimichanga Grande!

Right now, I’m starting to freak-out big time!  I’ve got a butt-crack Plumber hanging over my sink with a long somethin’ somethin’ & don’t know whether to grab a net or call the cops!

I hope I never have to use this tip — but, you know what they say — if you’re ever bitten by one; never suck out the venom… or vote Republican again!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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