Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews the four living presidents, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama.
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. My guests today are four of our living presidents Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama.
PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER
I brought you some peanuts from my farm.
Thank you, President Malaise.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
Jimmy. I saw two peanuts walking down a dark street last night. One was a salted.
PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON
Speaking of nuts. We have a serious crisis in our country with that lame president in office.
Are you talking about Trump?
(sarcastic) No. George Washington.
That’s what I thought.
The United States is no longer respected around the world. Our allies hate us and our enemies love us. We are essentially a banana republic.
Banana Republic? That’s where I buy my chinos.
I love them crunchy orange puffs.
They’re pants, not Cheetos. You idiot!
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
All the Trump B.S. I don’t know how he sleeps at night.
I do. First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Let’s agree on a presidential candidate all of us can support in 2020 who can beat Trump.
How about my wife Rosalynn?
C’mon. She’s so old, Eve bitch slapped her for making out with Adam.
How about Hillary? She’s the real thing.
Is depression covered by Obamacare?
Let’s face it, fellas. Michelle Obama is the best qualified to beat Trump. She writes books, he doesn’t read. She likes to be mentally fit, he’s just mental. She likes to exercise.
Trump’s in shape.
Unfortunately, it’s the wrong one.
All in favor of Michelle, say aye.
Bring her on. But I get to screen the interns.
The studio door opens, then slams shut. Trump enters.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
Duncan, I’m here to defend my record. I’m the most honest person you’ll ever know.
What a knee slapper! Ba ha ha.
Let us pray. Lord, grant me the strength to accept things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And forgiveness when I finally snap.
How about a prayer for me? I have lust in my heart.
I always wondered. What is colder, my hand or a gun?
We’re running Michelle Obama against you in the election.
Michelle’s a loser. I trashed her garden at the White House. All she knows about are vegetables.
Like you, Pumpkin head.
(chants) Send her back. Send her back. Send her back.
We are sending her back. To the White House in 2020. See you tomorrow everyone.
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