Bizzarro Thoughts for the New Year

Here are some thoughts for the new year you probably didn’t think of.

Since when has it been OK to put chocolate in breakfast cereal?

If both cars and cows are contributing to global warming, why don’t we just cut the problem in half and ride cows to work?

Thoughts for the New Year
Thoughts for the New Year: Why can’t the Flat Earth Society people just come up with a photo of the edge of it?

If Donald Trump had been alive in the Roman times, would he have become a Caesar, or would someone have assassinated him long before he even got close to it?

Since food companies got around the bad rap sugar has by labeling it as ‘cane sugar’ now, could they do the same for heroin by labeling it as ‘processed poppy seeds’?

Did Benjamin Button start getting Social Security right away when he was born?

If Rick Perry thinks Donald Trump was chosen by God to be President, shouldn’t someone go check on God to make sure He doesn’t have Alzheimer’s? And while we are at it, maybe someone should check up on Rick Perry too.

Why can’t the Flat Earth Society people just come up with a photo of the edge of it?

Why does Russia keep wanting to take over more land and countries when they can’t even take care of what they have already?

Why don’t we just devote one new TV channel exclusively to Donald Trump so that we can watch something else on all the rest of the channels?

If it is OK for models to be plus size is it OK for me to have zits?

Once China takes over all of Asia is it going to be hard to get good sushi? Or good anime?

Could it be that Icelanders are the only people who have it together in the world? They made a prosperous country out of ice, rock and ocean and you never see them getting into any wars.

If the Republicans want a republic, why do they keep acting like they want a dictatorship?

Since the world is running out of oil maybe someone should make a real Jurassic Park to start replenishing the base material for it.

Since so many more roads have been built in the world since Bob Dylan wrote “How many roads must a man walk down?” isn’t it a moot point by now?

With the opioid crisis in America getting worse, if we were to inject the involved pharmaceutical overlords with it, wouldn’t the problem take care of itself?

Wouldn’t the U.S. be a much more fun place if the Republicans were to change over to being Rap-publicans? (It would be really uncool, though, if the Democrats were to become ‘Demonocrats’, which would make our government a ‘demonocracy,’ which is a real word. I know because I looked it up on Wikipedia, so there.)

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Roger Freed
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor !!!!! Buy 'The Alaska Papers' from lulu.com. Only $10 !!!!! An almost funny publication!
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