[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Wonder Woman’s Father Revealed to Be Frank Sinatra

It’s true, Frank Sinatra fathered Wonder Woman! And you’d never have known, if not for the SNN (Slobovian News Network).

This exclusive news about Wonder Woman is part of the ongoing series, Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network). NOTE: Due the world wide coronavirus danger and restrictions, several SNN news correspondents have suffered undue hardships while reporting the news. 12 have been quarantined, 6 have been incarcerated, 4 have been molested, 3 have been disemboweled and one has been forced to work for Fox News Network.

Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot). Nice lineage you have there!

SNN entertainment reporter Whatdha Helle has recently uncovered long lost documents that indicate that show biz mogul, movie star, world’s greatest night club singer and music legend Frank Sinatra is the father of Diana Prince… better known as super-hero “Wonder Woman.”

Ms Helle had journeyed to New Jersey to study the psycho sexual implications of the 1950’s Doo-wop lyric “Ooooo poppa Kow” when she discovered a file box in the sub sub sub basement of Lenny’s Pawn Shop which was closed by Elliott Ness in 1947. In the early forties Lenny’s had been a major betting parlor and hangout for mafia guys and musicians including Frank Sinatra.

It has been widely reported that Wonder Woman/Diana Prince first appeared in October of 1941 and that her mother was the mysterious Queen Hippolyta.

Contents of the recently unearthed box indicate that her mother was really Queenie Schwartzbaum of Jersey City, who worked as a cigarette girl at the Club Alabam where Sinatra was performing as vocalist with the Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra… and that a quickie in the hatcheck stand produced Diana.

Mama and baby were then spirited out of the country by some of Sinatra’s mob connections. At some point agents of All Star Comics contacted Queenie and the legend of Wonder Woman was born.

SNN attempted to contact Diana Prince and we were referred to the Legal Dept at Marvel Comics.

When we attempted to contact the Sinatra Estate, somebody from The Mafia called and said “Hey Bozo, don’t fuck with Frank.”

Ted Holland

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