The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Congresswomen Marjorie Taylor Greene and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Marjorie Taylor Mean. I mean Greene.

Congresswomen, Marjorie Taylor Greene - DonkeyHotey
Marjorie Taylor Greene. Caricature by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com.

JERRY

Good morning Congresswomen.

ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ

Marjorie es una idiota.

JERRY

What are you saying?

MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE

Yeah. Speak English if you know any!

CORTEZ

I don’t have enough middle fingers to respond to that remark.

GREENE

Shut up before I call ICE. If you are listening Sheriff Joe in Arizona, help!

JERRY

Wow, Alexandria. You were only 30 years old when elected to Congress. What is your secret?

CORTEZ

It’s all about my good looks, Jerry. Aren’t I beautiful?

JERRY

Compared to who?

CORTEZ

That ugly bitch Marjorie Mean.

GREENE

It’s Greene, stupid. Like the color of your boogers you ate for breakfast.

JERRY

Alexandria. Former Democrat Senator Claire McCaskill called you a “thing” and a “bright shiny object.” That the Democratic Party is turning away from real issues for “pie-in-the sky policy ideas.”

CORTEZ

That overstuffed tamale dissed me. I’m gonna kick her butt so hard, she’ll taste her rotting ovaries.

JERRY

Sounds like a threat.

CORTEZ

I’m Puerto Rican from the Bronx. Promises made. Promises kept.

GREENE

Squad. Why are there no Puerto Rican doctors?

CORTEZ

Beats me.

GREENE

Because you can’t write prescriptions with spray paint.

CORTEZ

You’re disgusting! How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

JERRY

Hey, Marjorie. You’ve said some crazy conspiracy stuff since you’ve been in Congress. For example, students should carry guns in school, 9/11 was an inside job, and you spotted Jewish space lasers that caused the wildfires in California. You are an anti-Semite.

GREENE

I was an anti-Semite until I visited the Holocaust Museum. Now I’m convinced Anne Frank isn’t the owner of Auntie Anne’s pretzels.

GREENE

I’m not naive like Congresswoman Cortez. There are Space Aliens that are abducting kids walking home from school. It’s a plot by Hillary Clinton. She is making money off them on the Bangladesh Children’s Network.

JERRY

No wonder the wing nuts love you–Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Andy Biggs, Mo Brooks.

GREENE

Don’t forget Louie Gohmert.

JERRY

Do you know how to get Gohmert to wear a face mask?

GREENE

No.

JERRY

Convince him to storm the Capitol building.

CORTEZ

Congresswoman Greene tried to decertify the results of the Presidential election, especially in Georgia. Three recounts in her state and Biden won them all.

GREENE

C’mon. The votes were counted by Chinese President Xi from an apartment in Chinatown. It was Wong on so many levels.

JERRY

You said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is “our enemy within the House of Representatives.” Even threatened violence against her.

CORTEZ

And she threatened me! I had to call my Homies in the Bronx for protection. But I’m undeterred. I’m focused on the Infrastructure bill that will help the poor and middle class. Child care and tuition-free public college and trade school. Not to mention a Green Deal to save our planet.

GREENE

You are stupid. We need pollution like carbon monoxide to keep us safe for the coronavirus. In fact, I’m going to suck a tailpipe when this interview ends.

JERRY

How about oxygen to help us breathe?

GREENE

What’s oxygen?

JERRY

Since you don’t know, I guess that makes you “an oxy moron.”

CORTEZ

Trust me. It’s a compliment in your case, Girlfriend.

JERRY

See you tomorrow.

 

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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