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[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]

Appalachian Man Doesn’t Need Neck Tattoo

Mar 052014
 By , March 5, 2014

Mowing: Good. Neck Tattoo: Bad.

Shane Fannin doesn’t need a neck tattoo to stand out. In fact, he says his unique personality suits him just fine.

Appalachian Man Doesn't Need Neck Tattoo“I like to mow grass, day and night.” Fannin said. “It keeps me centered in God’s universe.”

The 42 year old Kentucky native has an extensive collection of lawnmowers in his grandmother’s garage and doesn’t believe in body modification.

“My nana said that if Jesus wanted us to mutilate our bodies with ink, then Jesus would have been the son of anarchy and not the son of God.”

Fannin’s neighbors don’t mind the constant mowing of grass 24 hours a day. “It’s best if we don’t make eye contact with them,” a neighbor told the Humor Times.

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Comedian, satirist, comedy writer. Putting celebrities and pop culture in their place. Contributor to various online comedy websites. Metalhead.

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