Exclusive: Trump to Nominate Security Blanket as DHS Secretary

Exclusive: Trump to Nominate Security Blanket as DHS Secretary
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.

In a stunning reversal, President Trump is set to nominate his favorite security blanket as Homeland Security chief. President Trump is expected to nominate his security blanket as … Read more

Coronavirus Relief Negotiations Stall Over Cap on Thoughts & Prayers

Coronavirus Relief Negotiations Stall Over Cap on Thoughts & Prayers
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.

Negotiations stall between Senate Republicans and Democrats over a controversial limit on federally-provided thoughts and prayers. Days of talks between Senate Republicans and Democrats saw negotiations stall as … Read more

Michigan Protesters Take Aim at McDonald’s, Demand Return of McRib

Michigan Protesters Take Aim at McDonald’s, Demand Return of McRib
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.

Buoyed by support from the president, Michigan protesters have demanded the fast food giant to bring back the beloved menu item permanently. After demonstrating against Michigan Governor Gretchen … Read more

Trump Orders Manufacture of Bidets: Big TP Furious

Trump Orders Manufacture of Bidets: Big TP Furious
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.

Amid criticism from Big TP, Trump has invoked the Defense Production Act, ordering the mass manufacture of bidets. President Trump on Thursday invoked the Defense Production Act to … Read more

President’s Speaking Style Declared National Mental Health Disaster

President’s Speaking Style Declared National Mental Health Disaster
Dave Suter is an essayist and social commentator specializing in translating the shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave into editorial prose. He lives in Ohio where he watches a vast mountain of essays and unpaid bills not resolve itself into the Great American Novel─or a paycheck.
David Suter

Mental health disaster: The severity of the effect the president’s speech patterns have on the nation may actually be underestimated, says NIMH. Citing several recent studies on anacoluthon, … Read more

The Chosen One?

The Chosen One?
J. Wade is a retired Chief Financial Officer from Missouri. He has had humor articles published in the Humor Times, USA Today, The Journal of Irreproducible Results and Unhinged Magazine, which is now defunct (not his fault).

It’s not just Perry who thinks that Trump is the Almighty’s Chosen One. Note: If you are reading this you are among the chosen ones. In an interview … Read more

Electoral College Electors Hiding Out from Democrats

Electoral College Electors Hiding Out from Democrats
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor
!!!!!Buy 'The Alaska Papers' from lulu.com. Only $10 !!!!! An almost funny publication!

Electors have had to give up their former posh lifestyles and join the Federal Witness Protection Program. Life is not easy for any of the 538 Electors from … Read more

Kim Jung-un’s Secret Conditions

Kim Jung-un’s Secret Conditions
Larry Dell is a writer, artist and former public relations executive. He was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and currently resides in East Orange, NJ. Previously, he was the arts and entertainment reporter for "The Local," a NY Times website covering several northern N.J. towns.

Sources say Kim Jung-un to require secret conditions be met before historic meeting. Informed sources reveal that North Korea’s Kim Jung-un will require that several secret conditions be … Read more

Pence Stormed Out of NFL Game, but Not for Reason You Think

Pence Stormed Out of NFL Game, but Not for Reason You Think
Patrick Lawlor is a writer and comedian from New Jersey.He studied improv and sketch comedy writing at the Upright Citizens Brigade in New York.

Reports of VP Mike Pence leaving an NFL game over ‘taking a knee’ protest missed the point. INDIANAPOLIS — Two things anger Vice President Pence more than taking … Read more

Six More Weeks Of Politics?

Patrick Lawlor is a writer and comedian from New Jersey.He studied improv and sketch comedy writing at the Upright Citizens Brigade in New York.

Health care: Same thing, over and over again WASHINGTON — Members of the press and public alike have been patiently awaiting the emergence of Donald Trump from the … Read more

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