Ripping the Headlines Today, 2/27/23

Ripping the Headlines Today, 2/27/23
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about flying objects, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any … Read more

Trump Wants Putin as Running Mate in 2024

Trump Wants Putin as Running Mate in 2024
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Trump claims that if Vladimir Putin was his running mate in 2020, he’d “still be president.” On a recent edition of the … Read more

Where to Go Now? A Place for Don

Where to Go Now? A Place for Don
Lesley Green Leben is a humorist and writer. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing and Literature from Stony Brook University. Her articles have been published by Dan’s Paper and numerous online websites such as More, Grand Piano Passion and Medium. She enjoys playing the flute, writing and all forms of procrastination.

Where can the former president go now? Mar-a-Lago doesn’t want him, neither does New York. He needs “A Place for Don”… After learning that the President had lost … Read more

Trump Tactics for Maintaining Power Uncovered

Trump Tactics for Maintaining Power Uncovered
Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire.Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
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Trump tactics insure he’ll remain president, one way or another — he thinks. A document has been slipped to this reporter from an anonymous source, signed only as … Read more

Donald Trump’s Debate Replacement

Donald Trump’s Debate Replacement
Dave's political satire and short humor have appeared in most major North American newspapers. He is also the author of several humor collections including "Dare to be Average", "Screams & Whispers" and "King Donald I" available on Amazon.
Latest posts by David Martin (see all)

The show must go on, and so a nationwide hunt is underway for Trump’s debate replacement! Donald Trump has refused to participate in the upcoming second debate after … Read more

A Cursory Rhyme

A Cursory Rhyme
Dennis Rohatyn is a recovering philosopher who hibernates in Southern California. He writes about the inhuman condition, as he peers out from inside his lonely cave.
Latest posts by Dennis Rohatyn (see all)

A poem about Chumpty-Trumpty. Chumpty-Trumpty owned a huge mall. Chumpty-Trumpty built a Great Wall. All Trumpty’s Cannons, and all of his Bannons, Can’t stop poor China from killing … Read more

Surprise Group Endorses Trump Reelection Bid

Surprise Group Endorses Trump Reelection Bid
Rick Blum has been writing humorous prose and poetry for more than 25 years during stints as a nightclub owner, high-tech manager, market research mogul and, most recently, alter kaker. Currently, he is holed up in his Massachusetts office trying to pen the perfect bio, which he plans to share as soon as he stops laughing at the sheer futility of this effort.

Group of comedy luminaries endorses Trump, standing in solidarity. HOLLYWOOD, CA — They say that politics makes for strange bedfellows, but perhaps none stranger than the group of … Read more

‘Dr. Seuss Prophecies’ Revealed for First Time

‘Dr. Seuss Prophecies’ Revealed for First Time
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!

Newly discovered Dr. Seuss prophecies: chillingly accurate. A brand-new and never-before-seen compilation of Dr. Seuss poetry and prose, “The Dr. Seuss Prophecies,” has recently been unearthed by well-known … Read more

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Barr-King Dogmas

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Barr-King Dogmas
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!

All dogs go to heaven, all dogmas go to hell! Trump’s living on Barr-owed time. We need law and order, not loss and orders. Stonewalls belong in prison. … Read more

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