[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Where to Go Now? A Place for Don

Where can the former president go now? Mar-a-Lago doesn’t want him, neither does New York. He needs “A Place for Don”…

After learning that the President had lost his legal right to reside at Mar-a-Lago years ago, White House officials were left scrambling to find a place for Don — that is, former president Donald J Trump — after he leaves office.

a place for DonNew York City was ruled out as 90% of the vote went for Joe Biden. “I’ll toss him out like a roll of paper towels,” Andrew Cuomo said. Even the First Lady was overheard saying: “I don’t vont him. He be worst, a real downer.”

Vice President Pence came to the President’s aid by enlisting the services of the website A Place for Mom, an online site that helps people make informed decisions about senior care.

“Look, I know people want me to invoke the 25th Amendment. I just can’t do that to him. I care for the guy. He’s done a lot for me and my family. He paid my nephew, John, a big salary to do nothing, Melania gave mother a full makeover — now I call her Mamita, and every morning he slicked my hair down and spit shined my head, just the way my momma used to.

“Besides, they specialize in placing seniors who have memory loss, combative personalities, and delusional tendencies. It was a perfect fit,” added Pence.

Although the website only places women, they agreed to take the President. Mary McDonald, a representative from the service, said, “With his dainty hands, coiffed hair, and well, did you see him dance? He’ll fit in nicely, the ladies won’t know the difference.” She then went on to ask for the President’s waist size and if he prefers flats or a kitten heel.

Lesley Leben