The former first lady arrived at an immigration ceremony wearing a white robe and slippers, ready for spa day.
Washington D.C. — Officials at the National Archives Museum were initially confused when the former first lady arrived at an immigration ceremony wearing a white robe and slippers, ready for spa day.
Mrs. Trump stated that she expected an irrigation ceremony “like de tea cevemony bot vith de cleanse.”
Apparently, the former first lady is known to favor regular bowel irrigation. She often posts pictures of her monthly colonics to the Be Best Instagram account, hashtag #NoShit.
In fact, Mara-a-Lago now offers the treatment. The former President recently tried it, however the procedure was unsuccessful.
“Some people are just too full of it,” said his hydro-therapist, sadly.
As for the misunderstanding, May Butts, personal assistant to Mrs. Trump said: “Mrs. Trump not only speaks with an accent but she hears with an accent as well. The poor women suffers from a rare condition for which there is no cure. She confuses certain letters like M and R, W and V, T and R, etc.”
Butts continued, “Just the other day, Mrs. Trump had terrible indigestion, belching uncontrollably at our weekly staff meeting. I whispered ‘Would you like a Tums’ to which she responded: ‘No, I only drink wodkas.’”
Back at the ceremony, Mrs. Trump changed into a Chanel suit and Christian Louboutin pumps. Asked if she was embarrassed about the mix up, Miss Butts responded:
“The former first lady has worked extremely hard at ridding herself of unnecessary emotions like empathy, embarrassment and remorse. She is truly an empty vessel.”
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