Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Trump says he’s too busy dealing with court cases, and would like a satire magazine’s fans to choose his 2024 running mate.
Donald Trump has announced that he would like readers of the Humor Times magazine to choose his 2024 running mate, as he’s got too much to deal with right now.
In an exclusive interview with SNN Goozikoologist Dr. Sweet Mama Doorite, Donald Trump — former U.S. President and current candidate for the same — said that he is so busy with legal issues and trials that he does not have time to pick a 2024 running mate.
Instead, he says, he wants “readers of the world’s greatest news platform, the Humor Times magazine — and we all love it, don’t we? — to select my running mate.”
He submitted the following list for consideration:
• Nikki Haley
• Ron DeSantis
• Joe Biden
• Chris Christy
• Vladimir Putin
• The Devil
• Al Capone
• Adolph Hitler
• Roman Reigns
• Attila The Hun
• Captain Kangaroo
• Snidely Whiplash
• Chubby Checker
• Ivanka Trump
• Gordon Gecko
• Jack McCoy
• Rev. Cotton Mather
• Pontius Pilate
• Perry Mason
• Tim Scott
• MTG
• Artificial Ignorance Entity Hoiman
• Simon LeGree
• Daffy Duck
• Dolly Parton
• John Wayne
• Harry Callahan
• Jubilation T. Cornpone
• John Shaft
• Lenny Bruce
• Greg Gutfeld
Make your selection and email it to [email protected].
SNN Words to Live By
“Fantasies are a lot easier than realities.” — Jack Perkins, NBC News.
“When smoke gets in your eyes, shut them.” — Writer Fran Liebowitz.
“The dollar dictates what the music is.” — Chuck Berry.
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