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‘Dr. Seuss Prophecies’ Revealed for First Time

Newly discovered Dr. Seuss prophecies: chillingly accurate.

Dr. Seuss propheciesA brand-new and never-before-seen compilation of Dr. Seuss poetry and prose, “The Dr. Seuss Prophecies,” has recently been unearthed by well-known literary detective Noah “Scoop” Hunter.

The investigative journalist, who had spent years tracking the collection down, finally located it lodged deeply between a rock and a hard place on Mulberry Street in Seuss’s whometown of Whoville. Excerpts from some of the most uncanny predictions in this remarkable poetic anthology are given below.


Trump the Grump

“Do you dump upon the chumps?”
“I do, I do, I’m Trump the Grump!
I like to dump and thump and hump!”

“And what of Pence upon the fence?
Will he commence his ignorance
And do a dance to all your rants?”

“He will, he will, yes he will jump!
Until he falls upon his rump
Into the clump of all my chumps.

They do, they do, I’m Trump the Grump!”


We Didn’t Think

We didn’t think,
We didn’t mind,
The more on TV, the more he whined.

We couldn’t look,
We didn’t like,
But still we chose a crazy psyche.

You panic,
We all manic for moronic!


You Have Feet in Your Mouth

You have feet in your mouth,
You have shit in your head,
And you always say you didn’t say what you said.

All alone, on your own in
You’re the one who decides where the hell you will be.


How Did We Get So Mean and Cruel?

How did we get so mean and cruel,
When hatefulness has won it’s duel?
An evil tool that demons rule,
Who’ll you’ll renewal if you’re a fool.

How did we get so mean and cruel?


Fat Cat in the Hat

Fat cat in the hat,
What fun he will bring,
While slinging his mud
Around the West Wing!

Fat cat in the hat,
In heat and in hate,
F**ks everything up
And then calls it “Great!”

Ralph Lombard