Ripping the Headlines Today, 11/1/22

Ripping the Headlines Today, 11/1/22
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about cannabis stocks, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any … Read more

Exclusive! Pelosi Offers Sex to Putin if He’ll Withdraw

Exclusive! Pelosi Offers Sex to Putin if He’ll Withdraw
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Confused at first, Pelosi clarified that the Russian leader would simply need to withdraw from Ukraine. Slobovian Secret Service operative Snee Keye … Read more

Trump Wants Putin as Running Mate in 2024

Trump Wants Putin as Running Mate in 2024
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Trump claims that if Vladimir Putin was his running mate in 2020, he’d “still be president.” On a recent edition of the … Read more

MTG: ‘Gazpacho’ Remark About Pelosi Ruining Cafeteria Menu

MTG: ‘Gazpacho’ Remark About Pelosi Ruining Cafeteria Menu
J. Wade is a retired Chief Financial Officer from Missouri. He has had humor articles published in the Humor Times, USA Today, The Journal of Irreproducible Results and Unhinged Magazine, which is now defunct (not his fault).
JC Wade
Latest posts by JC Wade (see all)

Marjorie Taylor Greene clarifies her “gazpacho” remark in a recent press conference: exclusive report! Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene recently ranted that Nancy Pelosi’s “gazpacho” police were patrolling the … Read more

Listen In: Nancy Pelosi & Chuck Schumer Discuss Whether Trump Will Self-Pardon

Listen In: Nancy Pelosi & Chuck Schumer Discuss Whether Trump Will Self-Pardon
Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha
Marilyn Sands

Exclusive! We’ve obtained this very interesting transcript of a discussion among top Dems about the possibility of a ‘self-pardon’ by Trump. NANCY PELOSI So, do you think he’s … Read more

Attack Dogs Unleashed

Attack Dogs Unleashed
J. Wade is a retired Chief Financial Officer from Missouri. He has had humor articles published in the Humor Times, USA Today, The Journal of Irreproducible Results and Unhinged Magazine, which is now defunct (not his fault).
JC Wade
Latest posts by JC Wade (see all)

Dr. Deborah Birx got it from both sides, as both Pelosi and Trump unloaded on her like a couple enraged attack dogs. Recently U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi … Read more

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Republican Sheep on the Lamb

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Republican Sheep on the Lamb
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!
Ralph Lombard

Republican sheep heard shear madness! A  GOP cover-up sweeps all of the dirt under a thug. You can always count on Trump to take a victory slap. It’s … Read more

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Ukrainegate, Last Con-Temptation of Trump?

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Ukrainegate, Last Con-Temptation of Trump?
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!
Ralph Lombard

Ukrainegate explained in aphorisms. WikiLeaks… and so does the White House! Idiots and morons always do cover-oops. What do I think the White House should do about all … Read more

Trump Ends All Abortion Restrictions, Cites National Emergency

Trump Ends All Abortion Restrictions, Cites National Emergency
Rick Blum has been writing humorous prose and poetry for more than 25 years during stints as a nightclub owner, high-tech manager, market research mogul and, most recently, alter kaker. Currently, he is holed up in his Massachusetts office trying to pen the perfect bio, which he plans to share as soon as he stops laughing at the sheer futility of this effort.
Rick Blum

Trump tweets an immediate end to abortion restrictions, sparking a furious backlash from right-to-life groups. In a surprise tweet released at 4 am this morning, President Trump announced … Read more

More Amazingly Mesmerizing Memes!

More Amazingly Mesmerizing Memes!
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor
!!!!!Buy 'The Alaska Papers' from lulu.com. Only $10 !!!!! An almost funny publication!
Roger Freed
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