Attack Dogs Unleashed

Dr. Deborah Birx got it from both sides, as both Pelosi and Trump unloaded on her like a couple enraged attack dogs.

Recently U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi attacked Deborah Birx, the physician in charge of the White House’s Coronavirus Task Force, allegedly calling her the “worst” and saying we are in “horrible hands.” Polosi later declared that Dr. Birx has enabled President Trump in the spread of coronavirus misinformation, although she did acknowledge that Birx does wear lovely scarves.

attack dogsThen Trump piled on, attacking Birx for her comments that the coronavirus pandemic is extraordinarily widespread across the country and calling her words “pathetic.” He barked that in the future he was going to have to keep her on a short leash.

Washington insiders were stunned by the president’s verbal onslaught — not his words per se, but the fact that Trump and Pelosi both seemed to agree that they didn’t like things that Dr. Birx has said. Officials could not recall them ever having agreed on anything before.

However, White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany was quick to point out that the Speaker called Deborah Birx the “worst” while the president called her “pathetic,” so they were actually far apart in their view of the doctor.

It was later reported that even Birx’s dog turned on her, biting her in an attack that appeared to be politically motivated. “I guess even Rover has turned against me although I don’t know which comments he took offense with,” she said.

Later, in a hastily called news conference where she wore a beautiful blue and gold Hermes silk scarf, Birx admitted that she was currently in the doghouse with both Democrats and Republicans. But, in future reports, she would throw both sides a bone. From now on she planned to issue both pro-Trump assessments of the pandemic, where she will point out what an EXTRAORDINARILY good job the president is doing, along with pro-Fauci appraisals of the situation in which she would describe how EXTRAORDINARILY widespread the pandemic has become.

The doctor also said that during all future news conferences she would wear her mask even while she was speaking in the hope that her words would be so garbled that no one would know for sure what she was saying.

Finishing up, a tired and frustrated Dr. Birx said that she was headed home to lap up a well-deserved gin and Lysol on the rocks.

My name is JC Wade and I approved this article.

JC Wade
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