[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Who or What is Isaias? SNN Has Answers

SNN’s Washington-based correspondent finds many theories on the naming of Hurricane Isaias.

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

IsaiasSince the the naming of Hurricane Isaias, Washington-based SNN correspondent Shuttdah Helluppe has been bombarded with questions about the origin of the moniker. After much research, her inquiries resulted in a myriad of varied conclusions:

  • According to popular televangelist Reverend Gitmore Cashe, “In the King Reggie’s version of The Bible, Isaias was the Cisco Kid’s brother.”
  • According to world famous chef Goose Greeze, Isaias is a stew made from Armadillo shells and Tequila.
  • According to choreographer Mambo Italiano, Isaias is the technical name for The Hoochi Coochie Coo.
  • Proctologist Grabbesome Butte states that Isaias is the little button in your rectum that triggers bowel movements.
  • According to Slobovian beer maker Rosco Ratzpizze, Isaias is the worm in the bottom of a Tequila bottle.
  • According to Church of Slobovia historian Dr. Freeze N. Maassoff, Isaias is the first thing the Devil does to you when you go to hell.
  • University of Stanckt romance history professor LollYe Poppe states that Isaias was Mata Hari’s secret gay lover.
  • A press release from The Universal Association of Serpents states that Isaias was the name of the snake that tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden. (We attempted to contact the Garden of Eden for verification, but were told they had an unlisted number.)
Ted Holland