[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

MTG: ‘Gazpacho’ Remark About Pelosi Ruining Cafeteria Menu

Marjorie Taylor Greene clarifies her “gazpacho” remark in a recent press conference: exclusive report!

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene recently ranted that Nancy Pelosi’s “gazpacho” police were patrolling the Capitol building spying on members of Congress and their staff.

gazpacho Marjorie Taylor Greene, DonkeyHotey
Marjorie Taylor Greene caricature by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com.

Later, in a hastily prepared press conference, Greene said that the gazpacho remark was taken out of context. What she was really stewing over was her belief that Nancy Pelosi was making unauthorized changes to the Capitol Cafeteria menu. She claimed that the cafeteria workers, were, at Pelosi’s direction, replacing the delicious American soups with foreign ones.

Here is a condensed version of her statement:

I’m just trying to defend our hearty American soups from an invasion of foreign stews. Our soups will not be replaced! The first amendment to the Declaration of Independence clearly states that it is the right of the people to peacefully assemble and consommé hot U.S. soups.

Throughout our history brave Americans have defended our soups and stews such as in Boston when the patriots tossed the British broth into the harbor and again when we stood up to the Soup Nazis in World War II.

We now have this crisis on our hands which I have dubbed “SoupGate.” The Cafeteria Brown Shirts are replacing our home-grown delicacies like minestrone, wonton, and my favorite, alphabet soup, with items such as gazpacho and vichyssoise which are foreign socialist sounding soups that are not even served hot. Of course, hardworking Americans know soup is not a dish that is best served cold.

At Nancy Pelosi’s insistence, they have also added tortilla soup which I believe is in this country illegally. Pardon my French but this is Bouillon S**t.
Therefore, I am proposing legislation to remove these foreign dishes from the Capitol Cafeteria menu. I am also proposing that the soup de jour be eliminated, not for political reasons, but for quality reasons. It looks and tastes different every time I order it.

However, my bill would not eliminate French onion soup because it is so delicious, and I believe we can claim it as an American dish now as we won it fair and square when we defeated Napoleon in the French & Indian War. But its name should be changed to freedom soup.

My legislation is long overdue. It should have been passed as part of the bill that added pizza back to the menu after it had been done away with by the Progressives as part of the massive PizzaGate conspiracy.

Ms. Greene concluded by saying “This should clear up my earlier statement. And I hope that with a little help from the Chowder heads on the other side of the aisle, we can get my bill passed to save our American soups which are M’M! M’M! Good!

JC Wade
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