McDonald’s

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/6/23

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/6/23
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about a pizza chef Mafia hitman, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 12/19/22

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 12/19/22
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about the oldest known narrative carving, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 3/29/22

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 3/29/22
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about Will Smith smacking Chris Rock at the Oscars, doesn’t need to be … Read more

Putin Rebrands McDonald’s as McPutin’s

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Putin Rebrands McDonald’s as McPutin’s
Ted Holland
Ted Holland
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland
Latest posts by Ted Holland (see all)

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Russian president promises McPutin’s will be “huge,” as experts warn the abomination may be his biggest war crime yet. In an exclusive … Read more

Crazy Like a Fox? Or Just Batsh*t Crazy?

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Crazy Like a Fox? Or Just Batsh*t Crazy?
Marilyn Sands
Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha
Latest posts by Marilyn Sands (see all)

‘Vlad the Terrible’ will go down in hiss-tory with this Top 10 in the footnotes! Clues that convince me he’s not “Crazy Like a Fox,” just Crackers! C’mon … Read more

Trump Murders Server Over Extra Pickle in Big Mac

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Trump Murders Server Over Extra Pickle in Big Mac
Hala Dika
Hala Dika is an impoverished poet living in her parent's basement. Slowly losing all concept of money, she lives in a delusion of happiness. She hopes one day to be recognized posthumously.
Latest posts by Hala Dika (see all)

Former prez kills McDonald’s employee at 5th Avenue restaurant over Big Mac, boasting he won’t lose voters among his base. Donald Trump strangled a McDonald’s employee to death … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 8/3/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 8/3/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Michigan Protesters Take Aim at McDonald’s, Demand Return of McRib

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Michigan Protesters Take Aim at McDonald’s, Demand Return of McRib
Evan Helmlinger
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.
Latest posts by Evan Helmlinger (see all)

Buoyed by support from the president, Michigan protesters have demanded the fast food giant to bring back the beloved menu item permanently. After demonstrating against Michigan Governor Gretchen … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/11/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/11/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

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