Ripping the Headlines Today, 8/2/22

Ripping the Headlines Today, 8/2/22
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about Vingegaard at the Tour de France, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/11/22

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/11/22
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about COVID on a cruise ship, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; … Read more

The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer

The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer
Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.
Dean Kaner

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Democratic Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. … Read more

Exclusive: Trump to Nominate Security Blanket as DHS Secretary

Exclusive: Trump to Nominate Security Blanket as DHS Secretary
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.
Evan Helmlinger

In a stunning reversal, President Trump is set to nominate his favorite security blanket as Homeland Security chief. President Trump is expected to nominate his security blanket as … Read more

Senate Republicans Introduce COVID-19 Cowbell Law

Senate Republicans Introduce COVID-19 Cowbell Law
Dave Suter is an essayist and social commentator specializing in translating the shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave into editorial prose. He lives in Ohio where he watches a vast mountain of essays and unpaid bills not resolve itself into the Great American Novel─or a paycheck.
David Suter

New “Cowbell Law” legislation will replace self-quarantine rules, say Senate Republicans. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R- Kentucky) announced today the introduction in the Senate of new cowbell … Read more

Capitol Dome to Become World’s Biggest Tit

Capitol Dome to Become World’s Biggest Tit
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!
Ralph Lombard

Republicans plan Capitol dome renovation to celebrate Trump’s acquittal. To celebrate President Trump’s impeachment acquittal, Senate Republicans have vowed to convert Washington DC’s Capitol dome into a giant … Read more

President Reveals Trump Tower Project in Tehran

President Reveals Trump Tower Project in Tehran
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.
Evan Helmlinger

Trump Tower project in Iran on track despite tensions, says press secretary. During a private luncheon with representatives from the Republican National Committee, President Trump announced that plans … Read more

The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senator Mitch McConnell and Senator Chuck Schumer

The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Senator Mitch McConnell and Senator Chuck Schumer
Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.
Dean Kaner

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Republican Senator Mitch McConnell and Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer. ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The … Read more

Extremely Stable Genius vs Low IQ Individual

The New York Times says Emmy-nominated comedian and writer Will Durst “is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today.” The Humor Times says "Durst is the Sage of Satire, the Learned Lampooner, the King of Political Satire!" Check his website for upcoming stand-up performance dates. Will's books, including Elect to Laugh! A Hilarious, Common Sense Guide to American Politics are available at Amazon and better bookstores all over this great land of ours. From Ulysses Press.
Will Durst
Latest posts by Will Durst (see all)

The president, he of “extremely stable genius” status, calls former VP a “low IQ individual” and doesn’t get why that might be a bad move. One thing you … Read more

Gobbledygook: Trump Talks Turkey in the Rose Garden

Gobbledygook: Trump Talks Turkey in the Rose Garden
Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha
Marilyn Sands

His Rose Garden “Emergency” speech was all over the place, as Trump talks turkey — again. Geez, November has come & gone & we’re still hearing Jive Turkey! That’s right … Read more

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