Republicans plan Capitol dome renovation to celebrate Trump’s acquittal.
To celebrate President Trump’s impeachment acquittal, Senate Republicans have vowed to convert Washington DC’s Capitol dome into a giant tit.
“It only seems fitting,” said Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, “Tit for tat. And I think we can count on plenty of support from our base.”
“We’re talking about something done in very good taste,” explained Kentucky representative Rand Paul, “something the entire family can enjoy together. Sexy, but not sleazy.”
“Like Madonna’s bullet-boobs back in the 90’s,” added Lindsey Graham of South Carolina.
Democrats have expressed their outrage at the plan. “Unfortunately, it’s what we’ve come to expect from these jugheads,” complained minority leader Chuck Schumer.
The President, however, offered his enthusiastic support. “I think it’s a great idea! Absolutely great! Because nobody has more respect for boobs than I do. Nobody! Just ask my personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani!”
- Jesus Christ Appears in New Anti-Trump Ad - September 14, 2020
- This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: A Serpent of the People - September 12, 2020
- This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Between Ghosts and Dreams - September 4, 2020