[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Taiwan and China Match Wits in Vegetable-Eating Contest

Revered vegetable-eating superstars sent to “thrilling” competition between Taiwan and China.

A popular Chinese saying goes: “The surly turd gets the bean curd.” While it is not exactly known what is meant by this, one thing is for certain. But we’re not exactly sure what that is either. I mean, give me a break, the Chinese are out-and-out inscrutable!

Taiwan and China

Perhaps this explains the recent vegetable-eating contest between Taiwan and China, but probably not. China opened up with marketplace celery to which Taiwan replied they didn’t carrot all.

Lettuce alone they demanded, whereupon China threatened heads would  roll in a proper dressing down. With sudden death looming it all ended in a thrilling tie, earning praise from pundits and salad chefs alike.

China, a heavy favorite going into the competition, disputed the result. “Untrue news!” proclaimed China’s Yu Li Ho, trying to save facing it

In reply Taiwanese vegetable-eating superstar Brock O Lee insisted “We chews to be free!”

Ralph Lombard