Glammed-Up Huckabee Sanders Goes Bonkers, ‘Network’ Style!

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders “mad as a hatter”

Network

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders walks up to the podium, pulls at her fake eyelashes and defiantly wipes off her professionally applied ruby red lipstick…

“Well, I’ll tell you what happened.  I just ran out of bullsh_ _!”

It’s a regular nut house — on his way out; Scaramouche grabbed his crotch and whispered in my ear, ‘Exfoliate’!

“I’m a human being G-d damn it!  My life has value!  I’m mad as a hatter!”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

I won’t wear freakin’ false eyelashes, 4 inch heels or a Bustier!

“I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE.  I can’t lie one more day!”

I bet you can’t believe our lies have numbers so we can keep them straight!  Yesterday, Lie #303 got the prize for ‘Most Repetitive’!

We have to keep track — in case a truth ever slips out!

“This is not a psychotic breakdown, it’s a cleansing moment of clarity.”

Now I can go home to my stairstep kids, lactate watching ‘my stories’ and eat Cheetos like Trump’s not counting my calories — hallelujah!

Oh, I forgot — he told me to tell you that I saw it & it was this big!

Now, I’ll take my last question…Jim Acosta.

“For the record – is this a Fire or a Quit?”

I haven’t asked him yet!  Just a little Huckleberry goodbye humor, Jim!

“I want all of you to get up out of your chairs & go to the window, open it & stick your head out & yell, I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”

ATTENDANTS..Restraints please, I’m ready!

  

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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