Glammed-Up Huckabee Sanders Goes Bonkers, ‘Network’ Style!

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders “mad as a hatter”

Network

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders walks up to the podium, pulls at her fake eyelashes and defiantly wipes¬†off her professionally applied ruby red lipstick…

“Well, I’ll tell you what happened.¬† I just ran out of bullsh_ _!”

It’s a¬†regular nut house — on his way out; Scaramouche grabbed¬†his crotch and whispered in my ear, ‘Exfoliate’!

“I’m a human being G-d damn it!¬† My life has value!¬† I’m mad as a hatter!”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

I won’t wear freakin’ false eyelashes, 4 inch heels or a Bustier!

“I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE.¬† I can’t lie one more day!”

I bet you¬†can’t believe¬†our lies have numbers so we can keep them straight!¬† Yesterday, Lie #303 got the prize for ‘Most Repetitive’!

We have to keep track — in case a truth ever slips out!

“This is not a psychotic breakdown, it’s a cleansing moment of clarity.”

Now I can go home to my¬†stairstep kids, lactate¬†watching ‘my stories’ and eat Cheetos like Trump’s not counting my calories — hallelujah!

Oh,¬†I forgot — he told me to¬†tell you¬†that I saw it & it was this big!

Now, I’ll take my last question…Jim Acosta.

“For the record – is this a Fire or a Quit?”

I haven’t asked him yet!¬† Just a little Huckleberry goodbye humor, Jim!

“I want all of you to get up out of your chairs & go to the window, open it & stick your head out & yell, I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”

ATTENDANTS..Restraints please, I’m ready!

  

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
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