[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Jan. 6 ‘Tourists’ Take Over Miami GOP

“Florida prepared us well with our beloved Stand Your Ground Law,” said Proud Boys who took over the Miami GOP.

Proud Boys members executed a peaceful transfer of power at last night’s Miami-Dade County Republican Executive Committee meeting. They replaced the RINOs who they said failed to confront radical liberal Democrats.

Proud Boys take over the Miami GOP
Proud Boys take over the Miami GOP.

Members of the newly installed regime fielded questions, 9mm Glocks riding on their hips.

But the audience was not intimidated by the firearms. In fact, before the meeting started, many flocked to the Proud Boys candidates. The spectators were impressed, even asking if they could hold the guns. A few of the candidates handed over their weapons, along with an application to the NRA.

“That’s real leadership,” said one impressed participant. “I’m gonna vote for the Proud Boys to take over our local party. We need to crush Critical Race Theory and destroy woke thinking in private businesses and public schools.”

The audience was also roused by impassioned speeches from Proud Boys candidates.

One said, “We were treated with disrespect when we visited the Citadel of our Democracy on Jan. 6. All we wanted to do was exercise our First Amendment Rights. But we were locked and loaded with Second Amendment Remedies if Antifa and BLM tried to steal our thunder.”

Insisted a second Proud Boys candidate, “Florida had prepared us well with our beloved Stand Your Ground Law. Yes, we went to D.C. with peace in our hearts. But we knew the radical libs might riot. And they did. Just like they stole the election from President Trump.”

In a last-minute pitch to the audience, a Proud Boys candidate convinced the audience of their good intentions. He said, “We’re good neighbors. We even erected a ‘Hang Mike Pence’ swing set in the daycare center.”

Steve Schneider
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