[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Another Stock Market Crash Imminent? Top Ten Signs

Anyone keeping an eye on the stock market is probably wondering what with all the turmoil in the world, gas prices nipping at the heels of $4 a gallon yet again, and unemployment numbers refusing to edge downward, how could the market be doing so well?

stock market crashTurns out, this is precisely what people were wondering when the dot.com bubble burst in 2000 (different year, different worries, but same scenario with the exception of Facebook).

So we checked things out on the internet and found some signs that indicate we may be looking at yet another stock market crash:

10. Mark Zuckerberg just moved back in with his parents.

9. Warren Buffet marked “Buy New Zealand” off his bucket list.

8. Manhattan office buildings are being retrofitted with diving platforms.

7. Glenn Beck is now hawking apple futures (as in the fruit not the iPad) instead of gold.

6. There is a shortage of bubble soap.

5. Billionaires are robbing their own banks.

4. The Cayman Islands has been renamed New Haiti.

3. The Hunger Games is now a reality show.

2. Jim Cramer’s head exploded on live TV.

1. Mitt Romney is ahead 3 points in the polls.

While the last one isn’t a precise indicator the stock market is about to crash, it does have people asking themselves “Would I rather live in a post-apocalyptic world or a world where Mitt Romney has just been elected President of the United States?”

P. Beckert