Trump is for Sale, Sure, but You Can Also Lease Him

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Jim Hightower, Humor Times

Frenetic crowds of billionaires have heard that Trump is for sale or lease, and they’ve come shopping for the best deals.

Frenetic crowds are storming the White House like a Black Friday mob at Walmart! They’ve heard Trump is for sale and for lease, and want to get the best deals.

Only these are not shoppers scrambling for family needs — these are CEOs, lobbyists and billionaires out to “get theirs” in the huge Trump-a-Thon sell-off of Presidential favors. Common folks need not apply, since MAGA, Inc. (Trump’s political fundraising sack) charges a million bucks or more just to buy access to his golden throne.

Once there, everything is for sale. One cryptocurrency huckster, for example, delivered his million to get into a candlelight dinner at Mar-a-Lago, where he pitched a business deal to President Donald Trump himself. Then, for an extra $200,000, the crypto-guy was allowed to “sponsor” the annual Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn. Yes — they’ve even financialized and corporatized an apolitical, publicly funded event for children!

Not only is Trump is for sale to Big Money, but he’s also available for short-term lease. For example, rich businesswoman Elizabeth Fago leased him in April for some heavy lifting on a household chore. Her son Paul had been found guilty last year of tax crimes and was headed to prison. But a million-dollar check to MAGA Inc. put her in direct touch with Mister Fix-It. Sure enough, once her check was cashed, the fortunate son was granted “a full and unconditional” presidential pardon — no jail time, no payment of restitution to his victims.

When The New York Times asked about such corrupt selling of official favors, MAGA Inc. declared that Trump treats every American the same. So, there you have Trump’s million-dollar definition of “American.” If you’ve got the million, you’re in the club. If you don’t, you’re not.

Shouldn’t the Democratic Party Actually be the Party of Democrats?

Will Rogers joked that when thousands of rural Oklahomans fled the 1930s Dust Bowl and migrated to California, “It raised the intellectual level of both states.”

Following that line of thought, it occurred to me that America could benefit mightily if
the Democratic Party’s overbearing corporate contingent were to migrate to its natural domain, the Republican Party. Seriously, as Robert Reich recently wrote, “Who in the world needs corporate Democrats?”

Thomas Jefferson warned of the democracy-crushing threat of America’s emerging “moneyed corporations.” And, sure enough, here they are today — literally owning the White House, Congress, Judiciary, most state governments … and suppressing democracy itself.

They’re entrenched not because they’re championed by the Republican Party, but because the once-proud party of America’s broad working class has also yoked itself to corporate money and embraced Republican policies of corporate supremacy. Where does that leave the great majority of working stiffs on election day? Staying home, feeling abandoned as both parties cater to the moneyed elite.

While many corporate Democrats insist they’re “social progressives,” it would be a profound public service for them to carry those social values directly into Republican primaries, softening that party’s raw minginess a bit. At the same time, their departure would free the Democratic Party from being financially shackled to the corporate agenda, letting it return to its roots as the unequivocal champion of working-class, little-d democrats.

By clarifying the core policy differences of both parties, elections could matter to most people again, presenting honest choices between a democratic or a plutocratic future. Pie-in-the-sky? Maybe, or even probably. But baking a pie starts with turning on the heat.

Jim Hightower
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